


A Hard Bargain

by itsaconquestofimagination



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bargaining, Children, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Force-Sensitive Reader, Jedi, Kidnapping, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Redemption, Negotiations, Post-Battle of Starkiller Base, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Relationship(s), Starkiller Base, The Dark Side of the Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 12:20:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8327608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsaconquestofimagination/pseuds/itsaconquestofimagination
Summary: With the war between the First Order and Resistance raging more than it has before, things get personal. Kylo impatiently decides that Rey’s vision of the map is sufficient, taking her away from Han and Finn. The Resistance however plays the same game, taking the only thing Kylo holds dear in his life in hopes of getting information and Rey back. The war however, is only beginning.





	1. Chapter 1

It was quiet. Almost too quiet. The soft sound of various machines humming and keyboards clicking were all that could be heard. Something was off. The whole atmosphere around Starkiller felt odd. Tension wasn’t the right word to describe it, more like someone trying to withhold. There was something hanging in the air that nobody spoke of or thought loudly about today. Kylo could undoubtedly sense it. The attack on the Republic shouldn’t have left the workers phased enough to fear recollecting it in anyway. You had to be a certain kind of soul to work at the First Order, someone who even flinched at the sight of the red beam wasn’t it. No matter where Kylo stood in the control room he could feel the silent tension in those around him. Reaching the center of the room Kylo stopped, pondering this odd feeling in the air with his hands behind his back. Hux stiffly strode into the room, his faint scowl resting on his face as his eyes scanned over each of the workers and their consoles. He halted as he approached Kylo’s side. 

“Ren, my troops tell me you have the prisoner ready for a second interrogation.”

“Yes General. It appears our little guest not only has seen the map to Skywalker, she is also powerful with the force.”

At this Hux finally turned his icy blue gaze from the window to Kylo. He more than frequently underestimated Kylo, so the fact that he had actually achieved something was in short, surprising. 

“Surely we must tell the Supreme Leader.”

Kylo nodded. 

“Indeed. There’s…also something else General.”

Hux simply remained staring at Kylo, the same indifferent expression he always held with him.

“There’s something…off. I can sense it. It’s throughout the base…in this very room…at this very moment.”

Kylo felt Hux’s aura shift to an even more noticeably tense state as he adjusted his collar. Hux was now displaying the same tension that the officers and troopers had. This had to be something big. 

“Why would you say that Ren? Are you sure it is not the prisoner?”

“General I would have known if it was that girl. Something is-”

Suddenly he heard the faintest voice, or thought, towards the end of line of consoles. His masked head snapped in the direction. Marching to the source his boots thudded heavily against the metal. Stopping in front of one particular desk, Kylo glared down. Though the new young blonde male recruit couldn’t see Kylo’s eyes he knew they were burning straight into his face. The recruit obviously afraid gulped as he slowly looked up to Kylo, his green eyes trying not to shoot open any wider. 

“What did you say?”

The mechanical voice startled the young man a bit.

“W-what are you ta-….Commander sir.”

“Your thoughts…they’re quite loud.”

Reaching his hand forward he brought the blonde officer a pounding pressure in the front of his mind. As the young man’s eyes winced closed in pain, Kylo sifted through his thoughts. His bland breakfast, his fear in this moment, his family back on Takonda, his fellow officer and girlfriend on the base, and…(Y/N)? Kylo’s own wife? A memory of her gliding through the halls after training, in her tight black attire, head held high, her (Y/E/C) eyes sharp as daggers, (Y/H/C) ponytail bouncing behind her as his eyes obviously looked to her rear end. He clenched his fist a bit as the thought came up, the leather of his glove squeaking. He hated when other men or women thought of you, especially in any indecent manner. You were his wife. MY WIFE he thought harshly. To see this new recruit obviously watch you in a lustful way, discreet or not was unacceptable. Just as his anger bubbled the thought suddenly developed into something more detailed. Now it was a frantic admiral, sweat on his forehead as he ran into this very command room, panting. 

“General Hux!! Lady Ren…she’s gone.”

Releasing the recruit as he gasped for air and held his temples, Kylo turned to Hux aggresively grabbing the collar of his uniform.

“General Hux… if you want to live I suggest you answer me honestly.”

Though his voice was altered and mechanical, Hux could hear the venom dripping from his every word. Of course something was off about the base. (Y/N) wasn’t there, she was supposed to have returned by this evening. You could always sense each others presence within thousands of miles from each other consistently and he was shocked he couldn’t feel her panic or anger in this moment. That meant she was far. Too far to simply be on an extended mission. Hux pulled Kylo’s hands off of his collar as he readjusted it. He knew the threat was real. Though Kylo had ultimately calmed down and become more level headed with your arrival at the base, you had also released an all new beast of rage inside of him. Though it was solely protective, it was probably the most passionate of his anger. His sensibility also went out the window the second it came to that kind of anger. You were a ruthless force user as well, but as your husband Kylo felt ultimately responsible to protect you. Even if it meant hurting himself, he would throw himself in the line of fire. You were his world, the only reason he kept on going, especially in the First Order.

“Where. Is. My. Wife?”

Hux dusted off his shoulder, adjusting his jacket as he realeased a sigh. 

“While you were on D’Qarr…she was coming back to the shuttle on Naboo…somebody swiped her away in the crowd before our troops or officers could see the perpetrators. We have reason to believe the Resistance has kidnapped her. As payback for taking the scavenger.”

Kylo’s head started spinning, his breathing becoming shallow through his mask, his heart slowly ramming harder and harder against his chest. How could he let this happen? He should have known sending you on that trip wasn’t wise with the war raging like it was. He had been so distracted trying to find the droid he didn’t even consider taking you with him to the raid in D’Qarr. After a few moments of considerably tense silence Hux spoke.

“Ren?”

Clenching his fists once again, the leather squeaking, Kylo turned to the window, glaring.

“I’ll destroy them.”

\---

Your eyes shot open, your breaths frantic as you looked around you. Stone, all around you was a grey stone cell, some moss growing over some of the blocks. You were on some kind of makeshift cot, with no blanket or pillow for your comfort. There was no noticeable energy you were picking up with the force. It was silent and still. You were sure the only life force you felt in the nearby area was your own. Getting up you went to the door, peering out of the little box they had cut out in the metal for a peep hole. The hallway outside was just as empty and grey as the cell you were in, though the floor looked cleaner. Obviously with how downgraded everything appeared, you were not at Starkiller nor on Naboo any longer. Plopping yourself back down on the cot you released a heavy sigh. Rumbles went through your stomach, causing you to scrunch your face up. Nauseau was already hitting you particularly hard today, you weren’t up for the mixed signals from your stomach. Fatigue was also consuming you, though you had just woken up, you could easily drift off. It must have been from how hard and suddenly you were hit over the head when you were taken. On the brightside, this place wasn’t nearly as cold as Starkiller. As much as you loved Kylo and your life with him, you always attempted to bribe him into moving to a warmer planet. 

A sigh; Kylo. 

The distance you were from him had temporarily made it difficult to sense each other through your bond. Being too distant from him always worried you, not for yourself, but for him. Right now he was likely ripping someone or something to shreds over the fact that you were missing. Passion was definitely something he had no shortage of, and when it came to you his passion was its most intense. Like embers of a fire flaring with a breeze. All you hoped for was that in his rage he wouldn’t hurt himself or damage your quarters too severely. Another wave of nausea hit you as you laid down on the cot, curling up into yourself. Drifting off your eyes slowly started to close again, trying to subside the aching in your skull. 

\---

Not too long after the sound of your heavy metal door being knocked on woke you. Your eyes fluttered open, trying to adjust your sight. Through the force you could feel peoples presence but nothing distinct. As your eyes finally were clear again you saw 3 men. They were all about similar height, a younger one with dark skin and buzzed hair, the one next to him just as young with wavy short black hair, the last one was definitely older with greying hair and a look as if he were analyzing your cell. Something about his face seemed familiar.

“Her.” the one in the middle said.

You recognized him suddenly. Kylo still ranted about this man on occasion when he’d confide with you. That was the Resistance pilot Kylo had taken into custody not too far back. Looking to who was next to him you also realized his presence was familiar, he must have been the defected storm trooper. Training with Kylo didn’t really allow you to see storm troopers much, but you knew how much that event affected Kylo. Much like his rants about the Resistance pilot, he would go off on tangents about this ex-storm trooper as well. You had sat with him that night, trying to assure him in your quarters that things would turn around. As his rock, you were constantly assuring him of his worth. The storm trooper’s, Finn you figured from hearing their thoughts was his name, mouth fell open as he looked at you. The anxiety pulsing off of him, even through the cell door. 

“Poe! This is the person you took?!”

“Yeah, come on relax Finn! My plan will work!”

“Poe, I don’t think you realize just who you kidnapped!”

“You boys do realize I’m awake right?”

They all looked over to you. Hesitating they all nodded, you sat up with a smirk.

“Just checking, continue.”

“Alright Finn who did I kidnap? Morning miss.”

You nodded to him as you rested your feet on the cold stone ground.

“Poe, she’s not just an important First Order member…she’s Kylo Ren’s very capable and force sensitive wife. I would know, I was there when she first came to the base.”

You wiggled your fingers at them to wave, the smirk growing on your face. 

“If he finds out the Resistance took her, he’ll burn the whole base down! Tear it apart with his bare hands!”

You chuckled to yourself, imagining that scenario. To an extent it was true, he would rip the whole place apart with his bare hands. Suddenly the older man was staring at you, looking back at his face you tried to pick up anything to notify you as to who he was. A memory just barely flashed through his mind that you picked up, causing you to stop, your lips parting open. That was how you recognized him, Kylo’s dreams. 

“My son is married?”

Locking your jaw you simply sat still. Though you resented this man for being frequently absent from your husband’s young life when he needed him, you also felt for him. He had lost his son to the darkness. Both of their pain was palpable and pulsing in their presence. In fact from the aura and thoughts you got a glimpse of, there was no doubt in your mind that Kylo was a lot like his father. They processed thoughts similarly, they were both into denial of their deepest feelings, both smug, confident, both a little impatient. Not knowing what to say next you simply nodded to the older man you had confirmed was Han Solo as he ran a hand down his face. From his aura you could feel the disappointment, not in Kylo, but himself. His son was a grown man, but he wouldn’t get to witness him flourish because of his past mistakes that helped lead Kylo to the dark side. He looked to you with a defeated expression.

“…For how long?”

“2 years.”

“…Kids?”

You shook your head with a smile, “Not yet.”

“…You’re happy with him?”

You nodded, “More than ever.”

Han just barely flashed a grin at you. Of course he was torn and depressed over his son’s choice. Going to the dark side was a choice but knowing now he had been targeted even as a baby, it seemed more a forced decision. Despite his depression of where his son was, meeting you in this moment brought him some relief. His son had someone to share his life with, someone to confide in. The smile on your face as you said you were happy with his son also brought him some joy. Despite Snoke’s manipulation of you and his son, you had found happiness in that bleak place. Han wished this was unfolding here at the Resistance base, you could see the scenarios he was imagining in his mind. Deep down he knew it likely never would. Finn looked between the two of you as he cleared his throat.

“Lady Ren, although I don’t feel entirely guilty for locking you up”

You rolled your eyes and looked to his concerned expression.

“We need you to cooperate with us. If you do…we’ll let you free. Well, to Starkiller again, nowhere else.” 

You crossed your arms, standing in the middle of your cell you nodded.

“Ok. It better be good.”

Poe licked his lips as he spoke again.

“You see your husband took a friend of ours-”

“The scavenger girl.”

“Right, oh…you already knew that. Well he’s taken her and in an attempt to get her back we have taken you prisoner. Hoping that by similarly taking someone the Order values they’ll be willing to exchange.”

Nodding you looked between them. 

“A prisoner exchange?” 

They all nodded back. 

“You know gentlemen, although I am offended you see me as a pawn, I suggest you think this through. If you withhold me in this base any longer and have the audacity to ask for your friends freedom and delivery here… Let’s just say you’d be unleashing quite the untamed beast.” 

“But R-”

Han put a finger up to hush Finn. 

“She’s right. He’s likely not taking her absence lightly. An invitation here may also put the base at risk. It’s better for us to go there.”

“Might I suggest you also consider what going into the First Order would look like? …Just a thought.”

Han nodded as Poe concentrated on the images in his head of Starkiller.

“Right again, with Snoke and Hux running the show they’ll likely disregard her bond with Kylo and do what they want. They’ll likely keep Rey too. We have to confront him…alone.”

You nodded. Of course at this point you were with the First Order, but as a grey force user you could care less of what they thought about you. As grateful as you were that your marriage to Kylo was arranged by them, you knew they could care less about you or Ren’s wellbeing. The words coming out of Poe’s mouth still hit a little hard, but they were accurate. Kylo could be reasoned with to a point. With you in tow, they also had highly better odds of actually achieving a negotiation to get Rey back.

“We leave in 30 minutes.”

\---

Striding to the Milinieum Falcon between Finn and Han with your hands bound, you couldn’t help but observe your surroundings. Sensing with the force wasn’t enough sometimes to gage what a place truly looked or felt like. The faces around you seemed generally upbeat, stress was high, a bustle of people much like Starkiller, but it wasn’t as bleak here. To a certain degree you were envious. Suddenly you hit Han’s back as he stopped in front of the infamous freighter. Your eyes went wide taking it in, you had seen the interior in some of Kylo’s dreams and memories, but it was far larger than you imagined. 

“Well (Y/N)…here we are. Finn, we’ll keep her close to us inside. Assure no escape or sabotage. Chewie, we ready to go?”

That name rang a bell in your mind as you heard the loud gargling growl from in front of Han. Peering over his shoulder you saw the towering wookie. His furry arm gestured to you behind Han. Han turned to you with a grin, pulling you forward for Chewie to see.

“(Y/N) this is Chewbacca, or Chewie, my right hand man. Chewie this (Y/N)… Ben’s wife.”

The wookie let out a startled growl causing you to flinch just slightly. He suddenly approached you, looking you up and down. Looking to Han again he made a low whimpering noise. Before you knew it he wrapped his big furry arms around you and enveloped you in a hug. Gasping at the sudden lock he had on your body, you squirmed slightly as you were still hungry and nauseous.

“Oh ok, hi.”

“He was really close to my son…like an overprotective uncle. He’s happy to know someone’s there for him.”

Releasing you Chewie rubbed his big paw on your shoulder, tilting his head. The faintest smile grew on your lips. Beside you, you felt Han’s energy change to one of endearment and worry. There was also a new force presence approaching you, it was dormant but still very alive. Turning around you saw an older woman, staring at all of you with confusion. You didn’t need to ponder as to who this was, you knew very well. This was Kylo’s mother, the General and Princess herself, Leia Organa. 

“What’s going on here?”

“General Organa we’re just leaving to bring Rey back.”

She looked to you specifically. Surely when you thought about the possibility of marrying in the future, you never dreamed of meeting your mother-in-law in this awkward, or heartbreaking of a situation. Your loyalty laid with Kylo, but you could at least partially empathize with Han and Leia. Their only child was haunted and tormented by the darkness for years, only to be ripped away from them. To meet you was a reminder to them that their son was in a sense no longer theirs. 

“Who is this?”

“Our prisoner in exchange of Rey.”

Han put a hand on Leia’s shoulder as he turned to you with a little smile.

“She’s Ben’s wife Leia.”

Her shock could be felt in your own chest, a warm and yet sad shock. Her eyes grew softer as she took you in. Being as force sensitive as you both were, you could feel her conflict in this moment of learning who you were. She so badly wanted to embrace you, bring you into her home, meet you, feed you and take you in as if you were her own. The other part of her however wanted to cry, send you off into the vastness of space and try to forget that she couldn’t be there to witness the rest of her son’s life. Ignore any milestones in his life to date. It was as if he was dead.

“…Oh.”

You nodded in her direction. 

“…Nice to meet you.”

You wanted to tell her what a wonderful son she had raised despite his dark tendencies, how much he grew to be like Han deep down, how determined and witty he was like her, but everything in you told you to remain silent. You neither wanted to break her heart or falsely mend it. Not being able to contain her emotions any longer she stepped forward quickly and brought you into a hug. She gripped onto you tightly as you stiffened a bit at the contact.

“You people really like physical contact don’t you?”

She pulled away, looking into your eyes deeply with warmth. You knew her heart was aching even with this small interaction.

“Please…just take care of him for me.”

You flashed her a small smile, afraid tears might actually prick out from behind your lashes for the first time in years. This was almost too sentimental. Course a lot of your relationship with Kylo was deeply emotional and brought up a lot of heart wrenching things. 

“I will. I can at least tell you he sleeps a little better…he’s well fed now.”

She smiled at you, running her hand up and down your arm.

“Thank you. Although the circumstances aren’t ideal, it was nice to meet you.”

You nodded politely back to her, Finn gently took your arm and gestured for you to follow him into the Falcon. As you and Finn walked up the ramp, Han turned to Leia. He nodded placing his hands on his hips, smiling at Leia.

“I always hate to see you leave.”

“That’s why I did it, so you’d miss me.”

She smirked at him. Looking at him she was overwhelmed with emotion, of what had happened, what was happening and what could happen in the very near future. Han brought her into a hug, resting her head onto his chest.

“If you see our son…bring him home.”

Han said nothing as he rubbed Leia’s back.

“Bring her back too…I can sense her feelings for Ben. She’s perfect for him.”

Han smiled down at her, “Yeah?”

“Yes. Also, I want any and all grandbabies on this base as soon as possible.”

Han chuckled lightly, “She said they don’t have any for you yet.”

She looked up to him with a smile, “All the more reason to bring them home.”

\---

Marching through the base like a raging bull, Kylo flared his crackling saber. The sheer weight and heat of his anger was like a wildfire. The base had never witnessed his fury like this. You had been taken away from him, the scavenger was gone, his day was unraveling too quickly. To add to his distress he had felt your force signature enter the system again, but with company. No matter where he looked however he couldn’t seem to find you. His mind wouldn’t let him rest. The evening, morning and this moment now were spent going through the possibilities of what could happen to you, or what might have been done to you. He was sure Han and Leia would never cross that line, but the other members of the Resistance were questionable. Imagining even the slightest instance of torture or disrespect he sensed made towards you would not only be noticed but he would hold onto it with a death grip. The dark side was too fast paced to hold many grudges, but if anyone hurt you, he’d live another 5 lives just to make sure that soul was brought to their knees. Striding into the heart of the Starkiller base with troopers trailing behind him Kylo halted at the railing. He could sense your presence, somewhere nearby you were being held back. 

“Find them.”

The mechanical voice came out even colder and more direct than it usually was. In an attempt to hide his fear over not being able to find you, he cloaked it in rage. The troopers dispersed as Kylo started darting his eyes around the room. Though he appeared like a focused predator under his mask, internally he was fearful and anxious. It was like torture, feeling your force signature but having no idea where you were or what was happening to you. Something about your presence also felt stronger. Nothing to Kylo’s knowledge could do that, but in his clouded fear, maybe you just appeared that way. He was fearful your stronger life force meant something was about to happen to you. He strode onto the cat walk in center of the giant arena like structure when a sudden echo made him freeze.

“BEN!”

That voice was surely familiar, but not the one he had hoped to hear calling his name right now. He turned from his position and looked to the railing he had just been standing in front of. His heart swelled and sank in the same moment. There you were, hands bound and being forced down by Finn, a blaster visibly in reach for him, your eyes glistening as you finally saw Kylo. How could they do this to you? He didn’t care what he had done, he couldn’t imagine why a soul in the galaxy would every dare to harm you. Trying to squirm your way towards him and out of Finn’s grip, Finn only tightened his hold.

“Ben…we’ll let her go..if you call off the bounty on Rey’s head.”

Kylo didn’t even acknowledge Han as he looked back at you.

“And what if I don’t?”

Han knew Kylo was putting up a front, swallowing he nudged his head to Finn. Finn carefully drew his blaster from under his jacket and placed it across his chest, aimed at you. Kylo’s gut sank lower, his heart started pumping faster as the heat in his face rose.

“…She gets hurt…”

Under the mask Kylo’s eyes started frantically searching your face. Through your bond he spoke to you telepathically, focusing all of his force energy on you.

“It’s okay (Y/N), I won’t let them hurt you.”

You just barely shook your head.

“Just let her go Kylo, you can run them down later. Please.”

Your eyes were pleading, hoping he could see how you looked. Honestly you admired how dedicated to his cause he was and how fiercely he tried to keep his grip on all of it. This however, would be a test to what he truly valued. You, or Snoke’s power trip. Remaining silent for a few moments Han and Finn stared at Kylo. Under his mask Kylo was attempting to reach you mentally, soothe you somehow and gage your feelings about this whole thing. As Finn scooted you a little further to the side, you kept your eyes locked onto Kylo. His locked on you, worrying Finn would run off with you and leave him with Han. Unintentionally his mind started flooding with scenarios. The worst being him trying to wrestle you away from Finn only to have you harmed in the process. His heart was pumping blood even harder now, the anxiety rising to its peak. His animalistically protective nature and impulse was overriding all of his previously cold and composed demeanor. Sensing this through the bond you tried squirming away again, you needed to get to Kylo. Whether it was to hold him or stop him from hurting them, you had to. He was growing more unstable as he watched them hold you back. 

“Ben…”

Kylo let out a shaky breath, keeping his eyes locked on you. As Finn just barely pushed the blaster into your arm Kylo flinched aggresively, as if about to pounce. He stopped himself realizing Finn wasn’t shooting, he knew if he charged Finn, you’d likely get hurt in the process. As you squirmed the cuffs suddenly shocked you, causing you to yelp out. Kylo charged forward, only to have Finn put the blaster back up to you.

“Don’t you dare hurt her!!”

“Don’t come any closer then!”

“Put the blaster down!!”

“She’s perfectly fine, stay back!”

“Hurt her and I’ll obliterate the Resistance to less than a pile of ash.”

“Ben!”

He looked to your expression, you were so worried his anger would end this, that his anger would result in your demise. You simply shook your head. Releasing a wavering sigh from behind his mask, trying to stop the tears he could feel pooling, Kylo stared at you still. He knew his time was running out, as impatient as he was, he wasn’t about to delay your release any further either.

“…The scavenger has already set herself free. Let (Y/N) go, and the troopers will be notified to stop their search.”

He was too proud to beg, but he was hoping desperately they’d be satisfied and let you go. Finn looked to Han, awaiting a reaction to the offer. Han swallowed, slowly turning to Finn he gave a quick nod. Finn placed his blaster back under his jacket, turning to face you he punched in the code on your cuffs. Despite their downgraded technology, the Resistance sure invested in strong restraints for force users. You figured they were purchased with Kylo’s capture in consideration. With a chirping beep the cuffs snapped open and fell to the floor. Twisting your wrists freely you sighed, looking to Kylo who was still intently watching.

“Get to the shuttle, rest and stay safe, they’re going to try something. Watch your footing and be sure not to fall. I’ll alert the droids to bring you food.”

You nodded silently to him as you rolled your eyes a little. 

“You don’t need to worry about me tripping. Honestly. Be careful Ren.”

Deciding you didn’t want to endure any further tension in this moment between estranged father and son, you ran out the doors. You stopped suddenly before your exit as you heard Kylo’s voice echo through your head again.

“I love you.”

You turned back and gave him a smile, “I love you too.”

\---

An hour had passed and your anxiety was starting to get to you. The food Phasma had brought you satisfied your hunger, but your nerves were making you nauseous again. When Kylo had said they were going to try something you had no idea he meant fully destroying Starkiller. With the minutes ticking by, and Kylo still not on the Command Shuttle you were growing more and more nervous. The ground beneath the sleek black space craft was rumbling and you were only anticipating the worst. Suddenly you could feel a presence approaching the shuttle, you turned quickly. You could feel the tug of your bond growing as the ramp hissed open. With a grunt and hurried clicking up the ramp you saw Hux emerge, dragging Kylo up the ramp with him. Gasping you saw Kylo limping, his large arm thrown over Hux’s shoulders, his eyes fluttering from the loss of blood, his face slightly slashed open on one side, a burn through his shoulder and a shot to his side. 

“Get us in the air immediately!” 

Hux pounded the controls for the ramp to shut again, as he gently set Kylo down on the longer lounge seats. Wasting no time you rushed to his side as he laid back, breath hitching as his head fell back with him. The rare tears that had been fighting to escape today finally fell down your cheeks as you sat on the floor next to him. Heart aching you grabbed onto his hand gently. The shuttle launched forward and sped off of Starkiller as quickly as possible. You barely acknowledged the feeling of heat going through the shuttle from the blast as you looked to Kylo. 

“Kylo…Kylo it’s me. Look at me.”

With a huff he turned himself just barely so that his eyes could meet yours. His mouth twitched to the slightest grin as he looked at you.

“Hey…we made it. We’re here…we’re ok.”

He attempted a nod, simply moving his chin as he closed his eyes again. Silently he tried to block out the pain, he didn’t want you to feel it through the bond. The excrutiating burns or blast wounds. There was no reason for you to experience pain like he did. You moved to the seat, sitting behind Kylo’s head. Gently you took his head in your hands and scooted your lap under his head. Carefully placing him back down you started running your hand through his hair, just faintly massaging his scalp. You heard him hum, his eyes still shut. A medical droid came buzzing up to him and quickly got to work on cleaning his wounds as you continued massaging his scalp, trying to soothe him. After a few moments of silence except for Kylo’s sharp breaths as the wounds stung you heard him stutter. Attempting to speak clearly he muttered something to you.

“What?”

He winced again, snapping his able hand at the droid to leave him for a moment. As the droid rolled away from you both you looked down to Kylo with a raised brow. He shifted himself further into your lap, struggling slightly he leaned his head over to your stomach and lightly placed a chaste kiss to it. He nuzzled his nose into your lower stomach, his breathing evening out again.

“I…I’m sorry…for everything.”

It was so faint and quiet you almost wouldn’t have heard it. Leaning down you placed a kiss to his head. You continued stroking his hair as his eyes fluttered shut.

“It’s not your fault.”

“…I love you.”

You felt his deep voice against the fabric of your top, giggling you continued petting his hair.

“I love you too.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Starkiller is destroyed, (Y/N) and Kylo make their escape with the rest of the First Order to their new home. A liitle over a year later, Kylo has completed his training, the First Order has regained much of its power and continues to fight against the Resistance. Though the war is closely reaching its end, there is still one fight General Organa isn’t giving up so easily on; bringing her son and her daughter-in-law home.

Peacefully Kylo felt his eyes flutter open as his blurry vision slowly cleared. Peering down just the slightest, he saw you sleeping soundly next to him, head curled into his chest. Smiling to himself he made sure not to shift his weight to leave you in your peaceful slumber. Opting to just observe you quietly. He wasn’t sure what he had possibly done to be granted someone as loving, understanding, strong and compatible with him as you, but he was glad fate had put you there. The only thing he truly never regretted, fretted, or disdained about the First Order, was you. In such a bleak place he had been brought you, and you loved him despite who he was. There wasn’t a blessing by the force that could possibly be greater than that. Feeling you stir suddenly he watched as your eyes fluttered open as well. As your eyes found Kylo you smiled faintly at him.

“Hey.”

“Did you sleep?” you said groggily.

He nodded as he brought a hand to your back, rubbing it soothingly. 

“I was just waking up. How are you feeling?”

Scooting closer to him you snuggled your head into the pillow, bringing one hand to your slightly protruding stomach. 

“Fine…except this one woke me up. They kick a lot for their size.”

He grinned as he brought his hand to your stomach as well, gently running his hand over it. In your time after Kylo’s battle with Rey you had found out shortly following that you were in fact pregnant. Which in reflection, explained all the nausea you had when the Resistance kidnapped you. Kylo was elated with the news, as well as he was absolutely terrified. Life after Starkiller’s destruction with a newborn wouldn’t be easy. He so often worried he wouldn’t be a good father either, not only because of who he was but because he didn’t have a great example of what he should live up to. He was impatient, aggressive, impulsive, and brooding, none of which anyone lovingly spoke of seeing in their parents. Despite his hesitation and never ending self doubt, he had eventually grown to be a great, but clutzy, father by the time (Y/S/N) was 1. He finally got the hang of things and no longer feared holding the chubby baby by that time, and my was that a sight to see. 

Now, on a brand new base, 3 years after your son’s birth, you were expecting another little one. Though the war against the Resistance was still raging, you talked Kylo through the matter of not letting the war itself stop life from going on. For his sake and emotional stability he had to have some form of normalcy, to remind him he was in fact living. In your opinion, it reminded him at least for a minute that he was still human, and not just an attack-dog and puppet for the First Order. He was in fact capable of making his own decisions without Snoke. 

In the time that passed after that night of leaving Starkiller behind, Kylo had grown more emotionally unstable about his place on the dark side. Understandably the days after he had killed his father left him tortured inside and more conflicted than he had ever been prior. There was waves of enraged yelling, throwing things with force and heaving sobs in the night that you attempted helping him through. All of his past rage was becoming even more heated and his cold demeanor unhinged. The only thing that kept him from losing himself entirely was you and your son.   
He stared down at your stomach smiling faintly as his hand caressed the swollen bump. After your first time around with your son, you learned that Kylo found this calming, to simply run his hand up and down your stomach. The waves of joy and ease would roll off of him with each simple motion. 

“They’re going to be powerful. They’ve got 4 more months to grow and they’re already showing their strength.”

You sighed, “Wonderful.”

He laughed faintly, tilting his head to give you a chaste kiss. 

“Speaking of strength, I should really get back to training this week. I’ve been out of the gym for too long. My muscles are begging to get back into action.”

His eyes met yours, filling with concern and his brows furrowing.

“(Y/N), you can’t train, there’s too much risk.”

You rolled your eyes, Kylo was still fiercely protective. Even with you from yourself. Though you assured him time and time again that you could still be physically active while pregnant, even dragging him to the med bay to force him to listen to the droid approve, he insisted it was dangerous. 

“Kylo I can’t spend my days sitting on my ass just because you’re anxious. I know what I’m doing.”

“No sparring practice?”

“I promise. Cardio and light weights.”

“Good….You know… Even though I hate that we’re at war, I do miss seeing you out there bringing our enemies to their knees.”

You smirked up at him, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Especially after (Y/S/N)’s birth…that one time.”

You chuckled, recollecting the memory. Once you were no longer bed ridden after delivering your son you insisted Kylo let you go back out onto the battlefield with him, as you were more than capable no matter what condition you were in. After slashing your way through the opposing army and returning home, all beaten, bruised and soiled, you picked your son up in your arms craddling him gently, as if you hadn’t just been slicing through who knows what with your saber. Needless to say Kylo was overrun with emotions, or hormones, and didn’t let you leave the room that evening.

“Oh yeah…that was a relief after all that bed rest.”

“It was fantastic.”

Chuckling faintly you brought your forehead to his.

“Mommy.”

The faint little voice caught both yours and Kylo’s attention. Looking up past the end of the bed you saw the little head of fluffy raven hair standing in the doorway with doe (E/C) eyes. His stuffed toy from Phasma latched to his side with his arm. 

“Can I sleep with you and daddy?”

Smiling you sat up and patted the spot next to you, in between you and Kylo. (Y/S/N)’s little feet pattered across the floor until you saw Kylo roll over and grunt as he pulled him up off of the ground and into the bed with you both. Crawling over Kylo’s limbs he immediately brought himself between the two of you, latching onto you specifically. With a smile you started stroking his hair as you felt his wet cheek rest on the side of your sleep shirt.

“Did you have a nightmare again?”

He nodded into your side, sniffling a little as his glittering doe eyes looked up to you.

“…The orange suit people took daddy away. They made you cry a lot.”

Looking up to Kylo, you saw his brows furrowed as his eyes met yours. Within your mind you heard his voice echo.

“It may have been more than a nightmare.”

Nodding quietly you returned your attention to your son, pulling him closer into your side. Having a force sensitive son, nightmares were unfortunately more than common for the small toddler, and typically too vivid and complex for him to handle. 

“Well I’m not crying, daddy’s here with us, and we’re all ok. Ok?”

His head of hair rustled against your shirt as you heard another little sniffle.

“We’re all safe honey.”

“Nobody’s going to take that away from us.” Kylo chimed in lowly.

(Y/S/N) nestled his face into your side as you felt Kylo scoot himself closer, wrapping one of his arms protectively around you both. 

\---

Sitting in the main control room Leia sat staring at the map of coordinates as the team reviewed their attack plan on the new First Order base. Of course Leia wasn’t listening to much of it as she was trying to configure her own way of getting Kylo back, as well as you. Even after Han’s death, she didn’t give up on Kylo, even though she was more than heartbroken by his decision. After that afternoon when you had left, Leia had been left in the dark about what was happening with her son. There were no updates, no hints, no boldly clear messages through the force. Just the consistent presence, allowing her to know he was at least still alive. 

Just as a new map surfaced in the main console, a disheveled pilot came running down the stairs, panting.

“The blue prints, I got the blue prints!”

Everyone in the room’s head snapped in his direction, as he made his way into the group.

“Kane how did you even escape?” Poe inquired as he patted him on the back.

“A lot of luck with the trash compactor, I have quite a bit of intel for you guys.”

“General Organa!”

Standing from her spot Leia made her way around the console to stand next to Poe as they put in the new information retrieved by the First Order.

“What intel exactly did you bring us?”

“Well I have this graphic of the layout of the new base, I couldn’t get anything on the shields or weapons unfortunately. I also picked up some information running out of there.”

Inserting the small drive into the console a visual of the new base appeared in front of everyone. It was about the same size as Starkiller, however the actual structure was far more complicated, much like a maze. The visual was not easy to distinguish.

“They’ve built the halls in a less organized fashion to confuse outsiders. There’s also a crazy amount of personal rooms built around the main control rooms, so they don’t appear as clearly on our radars. It’s like a distraction tactic.”

“What about the intel you picked up on the ground?”

“There’s new development of weapons, but they’re still in progress. No mention of what kind of weapons though. General Hux has heightened the conditioning of his troops, ensuring they don’t defect like Finn. That chrome storm trooper has them training harder and faster than they have before. From what I saw they’re preparing for something big. I didn’t get much intel on the Commander, but after my transport to the cell, I saw him walking into his living quarters, well at least for a second. Might be something General Organa is interested in.”

Leia looked up to him, her eyes soft, “Save it for after. Anything else?”

“There’s no open discussion about there being an active plot going on against us, but there’s definitely something big that they’re planning. They’re doing a really good job keeping it confidential this time around though.”

Leia nodded, “Jessika, review the structure with the team, Poe and Kane we’ll brief in my office.”

With a nod everyone gathered around Jessika as Poe and Kane followed Leia to her office on the side. Anticipating what would possibly fall out of Kane’s mouth Leia sat down carefully as she watched Poe shut the door behind them. Gesturing to Kane she leaned back in her seat.

“What intel did you think I’d be interested in?”

Sighing Kane ran a hand down his face as he sat up straight. Looking Leia directly in the eyes he tried to leave his expression blank.

“When they were walking me to my cell, the Commander happened to request he brief the troopers on my punishment before he turned in for the evening. I don’t think he realized I was concious enough to remember we were passing his living quarters. He drawled on and on, but then I happened to be facing the blast doors after he punched in the code and umm…I thought you’d want to know…there was a kid waiting inside. …for him.”

Leia’s heart sunk into her gut as she sat up straighter and her lips fell open just a bit. He wouldn’t have a child in his living quarters unless it was his. There was no way he would be so open to other people’s children unless he had something to gain from them. She had a grandchild.

“…How old were they?”

“He was at least 3 or 4.”

Looking over solemnly Poe watched Leia’s smile fade. Though she was a strong woman who kept a solid facade through anything, this was a tough subject that undoubtedly pulled at her heart. Poe often let her speak to him about her worries for Kylo, how she still had faith in his redemption. It was an admirable love she had for her son. There weren’t many mothers in the galaxy who would be so unconditionally concerned for their children.

“General?”

With a saddened look Leia glanced to Poe. 

“She was pregnant when she was here…when we attacked Starkiller.”

“General, there was obviously no way we knew.”

She turned back to Kane, clearing her throat.

“…But they’re ok?”

He nodded, “Yes General. From talk on the base they’re all fine.”

Feeling a little breeze of relief roll through her she leaned over her desk.

“Gentlemen…I would like you to help me with something I’ve been planning for a while now. Something that will hammer in the last nail in the Order’s coffin.”

\---

The next night, after finally getting back to training with Phasma and Kylo finishing his duties for the day, you repeated the same routine from yesterday. Climbing into bed, your son joining the two of you, and all drifting off to sleep. You laid on your side facing Kylo, him facing you with your son passed out between you. Smiling down at him you heard Kylo’s deep voice just barely break the silence.

“(Y/N)…his nightmares…I think they mean more.”

“I know you do. How can you be so sure?”

“I can’t…but I want…we need to talk now in case it is.”

Bringing your eyes up to his you could see tears just barely welling.

“If it is a vision from the force…and we are going to be separated for any reason, I want you to take (Y/S/N) and hide. Go to a system where you can disappear. I’d rather know you’re safe then have you suffer with me. …I can’t be that selfish.”

You furrowed your brows slightly, you could feel the sorrow growing in Kylo’s energy.

“I’ve come this far in this journey with you…what makes you think I’d be such a coward to stand down and hide?”

“(Y/N), for once it’s not about strength or pride. It’s not about us anymore.”

He looked down at your son as he swallowed, the tears slowly starting to attempt their escape from his eyes.

“I need both of you safe. I don’t care if that means I have to burn. If you have to, you have to leave me here. No exceptions.”

You shook your head, “Kylo. I obviously know its not just about us. But you have to know I couldn’t possibly just leave you here.”

“I know what you’re thinking, you can’t fight them by yourself (Y/N). (Y/S/N) needs you more than he needs me-”

“Why are we discussing this now? Doesn’t this war engulf enough of our life without being brought home.”

 

As if on que you both felt a shift in the atmosphere, not just of your bedroom. Bringing your eyes to meet you both exchanged a look of concern.

“Take (Y/S/N) and your saber. There’s no time to change out of that.”

Nodding quickly you sat up as Kylo lept out of the bed and started putting his robes back on in a rush. Carefully you slid your arms under (Y/S/N) as you pulled him close. Holding him close to your chest you looked to Kylo.

“What’s the plan?”

“There isn’t one really. Get to the command shuttle. If I’m not there in a half hour, take (Y/S/N) and leave. If the base survives I’ll notify you when to return, if it’s destroyed and I make it out I’ll find you both later.”

Kylo had told you many times before to simply save yourself if he was being swarmed, but now it was different. Of course when you first were wed to Kylo, you were increasingly selfish and self-serving seeing as you didn’t understand why you had to go through the arrangement. Now however, you were too deeply attached and invested in Kylo to simply leave him behind to suffer. Your heart couldn’t take the idea. You knew with how aflame his inner conflict was lately he would be an easier target. His energy was too easily distracted and overwhelmed by all the things weighing on his heart.

“Kylo..”

“(Y/N) don’t fight me on this. Please. Just go, I promise I’ll try and get back to you.”

Trying to force the tears you could feel building down you took a deep breath. Narrowing your eyes at Kylo as you picked up your one bag you brought yourself in front of Kylo. He could sense your empathy but he was getting hit with more waves of your growing anger.

“I swear on my life if you choose Snoke’s mission over your own damn family…and force me to explain to him why his father never came back, why his sibling never got to have a father….I’ll never forgive you.”

Swallowing Kylo eyes went wide, the glistening tears more obvious to you now. Although you could never hate Kylo, your child was your priority, and you could care less if Kylo burned either the Resistance or First Order to the ground. Both sides were irrelevant to you and didn’t serve you as much as you desired them to. They were both self-serving in their own way. 

“…(Y/N).”

“I love you but if you’re not in that shuttle on time…I swear.”

Just as you felt your tears trying to push past your lashes you heard an alarm sound. The blaring sound seeming more like white noise as you and Kylo just stared at each other. Kylo’s bottom lip quivered as he took in your cold expression. It wasn’t easy to keep him out of your mind, but in this moment the threat had to seem real. Kylo had to leave this base before the end of the attack or else he wouldn’t make it. 

“Make the right choice…for you.”

Deciding you didn’t want to risk your emotions overtaking you or the attack suddenly flaring while you stood still you shoved past Kylo in a stride. Kylo watched tearfully as you left the room and started rushing down the halls. The second you walked into the hall you were surrounded by swarms of scurrying troopers and officers. Many of whom were frantically running from out of their quarters trying to make themselves presentable. The emotions from others you shoved past in the mess of hallways were overwhelmingly chaotic and unsure of their fate. The flurry of different worries and concerns echoing through psyche with every turn and step you took, some even tainting your mind with vivid images of what they feared they would witness. Wincing at one particular image from someone’s frantic imagination you felt a pull in the force down one of the less chaotic hallways. The lack of lighting and movement made it incredibly suspicious, but there was no sense of fear overcoming you. Though, not much of anything scared you. Taking a few cautious steps you went down the hall, bringing your saber into your other hand. As your arm moved up you heard (Y/S/N) slowly stir awake. After another 10 feet down the hall you suddenly froze. The pull was not far and its energy was strong, likely force sensitive. Pulling (Y/S/N)’s head into your chest you tried blocking any potentially scarring visuals he may be subjected to with your steps forward. Reaching a small crevise in the hall you suddenly jumped as you saw a familiar face in the shadows. Waiting in a corner with a blaster close to her chest was Leia. The second her eyes landed on you her expression softened and her aura was relieved of all the pent up tension and anxiety. 

“What are you doing in here?”

“I’m here to take you and my son home.”

Your brows raised in surprise, even after meeting Leia the first time you had been kidnapped you never expected her to ever truly want Kylo back. It seemed far fetched to want someone as troubled and unstable as him somewhere like the Resistance. Her energy was relaxed and genuine, but just being who you were, you were hesitant to trust her. She was working for the other side after all. 

“That sounds a lot like an alluring trap for a man who’s unbelievably tortured inside from his past. …Are you really trying to gain from that?”

She shook her head as she lowered her blaster. 

“The Resistance may feel that way…but as Leia Organa…a mother…I just want my son back.”

Every part of your subconcious wanted to believe she was saying that to sucker you in, seeing the child in your arms, but all of your force sensitivity told you otherwise. Her mind was an open book to you right now and there was no thought of deception or revenge. Just remorse, hope. (Y/S/N) turned his head despite your hold to see who exactly you were speaking with. You saw her eyes move to him with a faint but solemn grin. Her aura grew even heavier with remorse.

“This…this is your son?”

You nodded, “(Y/S/N).”

His doe eyes looked Leia over, skeptical but unafraid. Much like you he could sense that she was no threat to either of your safety. Brushing a little hair out of your face you adjusted him to face Leia.

“(Y/S/N) this is your grandma. Can you say hello?”

Shyly he pulled his face into you and waved just barely to her. With a smile she walked closer to you.

“I have a shuttle ready. Nobody will be aboard it but you and the family.”

“We won’t make it out of here in a Resistance ship. …Kylo has the command shuttle prepared for our departure. …You can come with us.”

Internally you knew Kylo would likely be frustrated with you for letting his mother aboard the ship, but you weren’t nearly heartless enough to allow her to die here. Deep down you could sense just how good of a person she was, and how much of a fighter she was. Obviously that’s where Kylo got his relentless determination from. As much as Kylo tried to hide just how strong his remorse for disappointing his mother and breaking her heart was, you knew just how deep it went and how much it impacted him on a daily basis. 

Leia nodded, “I’ll catch up with you later. My presence will make you a target.”

You shook your head with a smirk, “I know a back way. Trust me not a soul on this ship would bother to cross me.”

From what you could tell that comment made Leia uncomfortable, but also subtly proud of just how strong you were. You were truly perfect for her son. He was never meant to be with a damsel.   
Igniting your saber you carved a hole out in the side wall with ease. With a clunk the hunk of metal fell to the floor in front of you as you took a cautious step back. Crouching down, you carefully held (Y/S/N) closer to your chest as you turned to Leia.

“Follow my lead.”

\---

After a stressful 10 minutes of crawling through vents you finally could hear the bustle of the landing dock. Peering out of the little cracks you saw troopers and officers alike scurrying to get into ships and grabbing weapons as quickly as they could. Some even trying to collect arms full of them. Turning back to Leia you sighed.

“I’m going to kick this vent out. The second it does we’re going to have all kinds of attention drawn to us most likely. I need you to take the position in front of us with your blaster, I’ll cover your back with the saber. Can you do that?”

“Of course I can.”

Smirking you turned forward again, rounding your neck to stretch the muscles. Lifting your hand you used just a light push of the force to push the metal vent open. In an instant you slid yourself to the edge and dropped to the ground, landing on your feet. Looking back as you crouched down behind some crates you saw Leia follow suit as she quickly made her way to your side with a shaky landing. Grasping her shoulder to hold her steady she looked over to you with a smile. Giving her one nod she made her way in front of you with her blaster as you followed closely behind. The second that your bodies entered the open space of the landing dock sure enough someone had caught sight of Leia and started firing. Instantly you blocked the blaster shots coming for both of you with aggressive swings of your saber. Unsure of what to do during the active conflict (Y/S/N) started crying and tried curling himself into your body more to prevent any potential shots. The hiss of your saber hitting each speeding shot fueled your adrenaline. It was like a drug. Simply flexing your undeniable skills with the force and combat gave you high. With the added tension of trying to protect your son and well hidden bump, it was as if the strength you put into each swing grew. Your arms moved even more precisely than they had in quite some time.   
Backing your way towards the command shuttle you kept blocking shots. As a pause in firing appeared you turned to Leia.

“Take (Y/S/N) and get in the shuttle! I’ll be there in a minute!”

Not bothering to question your tactics she carefully took him from your arms as he wailed. Trying to ingore his cries you focused your attention on the troopers still firing at the shuttle. Still precisely blocking every shot your saber illuminated the air around you. Lifting your hand up without a flinch you threw a group of at least 6 against the wall, swinging your forceful push towards another group of 7 in front of you. As they all clattered to the floor you rushed into the shuttle.Taking a deep breath you looked to the time. It had been a half hour, and still no Kylo. Feeling your emotions start to get the better of you, you turned to Leia with an expression of concern.

“If I leave you the shuttle. Can you get it off of the base without any issue?”

Leia looked to you confused.

“I can’t leave him…if any of us deserve to escape it’s him.”

Leia’s expression, though obviously sad at your suggestion, turned into a smile. Your dedication to her son was all she ever wanted for him. To find something or someone that loved him for who he was and saw more than the brooding force of power he was. She nodded.

“We can wait a few more moments for you. I can handle myself.”

She winked at you as you smirked. Rising from your seat you started to rush for the door. You were going to sprint through the base if you had to, to get to him. With your heartbeat rising you hit the controls for the ramp to close for Leia and (Y/S/N) when you suddenly heard stomping approaching. Nothing was going to get into this shuttle that was going to harm you. As you charged forward with your saber igniting you were suddenly startled by the figure jumping onto the closing ramp.

“Kylo!”

“Did you really think I’d leave you?”

Backing yourself into the shuttle again Kylo grabbed onto the sides of your face aggressively as he crashed his lips into yours. Finally syncing yourself with his movements you returned his hungry kisses, getting lost in the wonderful feeling of being in his hold again. The bond between you was pulsing, electrifying practically with every brush your lips took against each other. Pulling away with heavy breaths Kylo held you in front of him at arms length.

“I would never dare choose Snoke over you. No matter what threat he promises. Never.”

Smiling you gestured your head to the pilots seat.

“Let’s bust this joint.”

With a smirk he gave you another kiss before he quickly took himself to the seat and started the engines. Though neither you or Kylo had discussed it when you started making your moves to escape, you had both known the Resistance planned on destroying the First Order base again. There was no doubt they would not consider their mission complete until it was. 

“Hang on.”

Flicking a switch and pulling the handle back, the shuttle launched off of the ground with a strong hum. Zooming past the other ships Kylo steered you past the incoming shots and flew past the conflict. Luckily with the advanced technology of the First Order Kylo’s shuttle nearly moved faster than any incoming threats and blended in perfectly with the ink black night and vast open terrain of the galaxy. A sigh of relief left his lips as he saw that the shuttle had passed into a distant atmosphere. The First Order base was no longer visible, and the silence of space was all that surrounded the shuttle. Turning his chair around he looked to you sitting behind him with a smile. His expression slowly changed as he finally realized the other force presence on board. Tensing a little he simply stared over your shoulder at Leia. Recognizing the tension you decided to speak.

“Kylo…she went off from her squadron to find us. …She only came to the base to find you…to bring you home.”

He still kept his eyes intently locked on her.

“She wanted to save us…cause she sees more in you…like I do.”

Feeling the waves of energy going between them was almost overwhelming with just how heavy and mixed their collective emotions were. Finally you felt Kylo try and ease his hostile energy for the sake of (Y/S/N) being present.

“…You came to take us with you?”

She nodded, “I want you back. You’re still my son…no matter what you’ve done.”

Turning to Kylo you tried running a hand over his arm soothingly, to try and coax him through this. Earnestly turning your eyes to him he returned the gaze with his deep brown orbs. Gaging your feelings over this whole thing Kylo simply swallowed as he turned to his mother who was now allowing (Y/S/N) to leave her arms and run to Kylo. With a smile he scooped (Y/S/N) into his large arms and held him close, holding his head to his lips as he gently placed a kiss to the top of his head. In that instant he suddenly had a new wave of understanding. This overwhelming feeling of dedication, protection and love he felt for his son was what Leia had felt for him all along. No matter how poorly she may have displayed it in the past, it was there. Deep within her heart there was nothing he could do to cause her to no longer care. Pulling (Y/S/N)’s head into his shoulder Kylo looked up to his mother with a nod. Still stiff and hesitant he tried to soften his expression, though he did not smile. He wasn’t prepared to be that warm just yet.

“Thank you.”

A warm smile spread across Leia’s face as she looked over the 3 of you in front of her. She finally had her family. After a tense and long ride home in the shuttle you finally entered the Illinieum system approaching the Resistance base. You could feel Kylo’s nerves as he brought the shuttle down from the sky. Rubbing his back you smiled at him.

“Relax…we’re going home. Or at least home for now. There’s no more First Order. (Y/S/N) is finally in a safe space. Just breathe.”

Nodding he lowered the shuttle closer to the landing block as he let out a wavering sigh. It had been decades since he had seen this base, there were so many memories that were swarming his mind as the ship made its final landing motions and gently came to a stop. His mind was flooded with images of his father taking him in the Falcon, being carried around by Chewbacca, receiving treats from Uncle Lando and wisdom from Uncle Luke. Though not all of those people would be present, their impact would be felt no matter what. Sighing you stood from your chair as you stood from your seat, taking (Y/S/N) into your arms. Turning to Leia you smiled faintly. 

“We’re home.”

Nodding you followed her to the ramp doors, waiting for Kylo to follow suit. Out of the corner of your eye you saw his tall dark figure hit a control and descend the ramp with its same hissing and steam. Walking carefully down the ramp you closed your eyes and took a deep breath in. Fresh night air was so refreshing. Just as you turned to see Kylo you suddenly saw a blindingly bright light shined in your face. All of you clustered together and looked into the light, eyes wincing at the sheer intensity of it. Before you could react you saw a group of men in pilots uniforms walk forward and aggresively grip onto Kylo’s arms, ripping him from behind you and Leia. Instantly (Y/S/N)’s head shot up as he watched the scene unfold.

“Daddy no!!!”

Looking at the men in front of you it suddenly hit you, your son had in fact seen this in a force vision. His worst nightmare was actually unfolding in front of him.

“By order of the Resistance and the Galactic Republic you’re under arrest and will be held to trial for the crimes you’ve committed.”

“Unhand him!! He’s not here to reign terror!!”

One man, you did not recognize from your previous presence here glared you straight in the eyes as he brought his face dangerously close to you.

“Doesn’t make him any less guilty Lady Ren. Lock him up!”

Trying to run after them you only ended up stopped by another person in a pilots uniform, someone familiar. 

“NO!! Kylo!!!”

Ripping yourself from Poes grip you turned to Leia with a disgusted expression as you could feel her aura descend into the dumps. Pulling (Y/S/N)’s head into your shoulder as he sobbed you shook your head.

“He trusted you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After escaping the First Order’s base, just before it collapsed, with Leia, Kylo and his family are met with a not so warm welcome. Once they land at the Resistance base, Kylo is taken as a prisoner, to be put on trial for his crimes against the galaxy. (Y/N), now hesitant to trust Leia after this incident tries to formulate a way to get her family out safely. Leia tries to help, while also trying to assure both her son and his wife that she has their best interest.

Trying to comfort (Y/S/N) you ran a hand down his back to soothe his uncontained sobbing. There weren’t many words to explain why his worst nightmare had in fact come true. So often you and Kylo assured him that it was nothing but a dream, and that it held no other significance. The events of the evening however proved it wasn’t meant to be just a meaningless construct of his mind. It had always been a miniscule thought in your mind, that one day someone would finally hold Kylo accountable for what he had done. Although, in your mind, he would be held accountable when your son, and yet to be born child, were old enough to understand and cope with the situation. An age where they could understand why this galaxy was at war and couldn’t come to an agreement. There wasn’t much you could do to help (Y/S/N) cope with something like this at his age. He understood nothing of the situation except that someone had taken his father away from him and from you and that for some reason, his father didn’t fight back much. Trying to choke back your own tears, channeling more of your anger than worry, you whispered in (Y/S/N)’s ear.

“Sshhh, I’ve got you.”

“I wa-want daddy!”

Shutting your eyes you tried releasing a deep breath through your nostrils. You could handle seeing Kylo taken away, but with (Y/S/N) in the equation, it was all reaching a new level of emotion and significance. 

“I know.”

“I-I wan-want daddy!”

Continuing your soothing motions with your hand, your eyes fluttered open again as you felt waves of someone’s energy hitting you. Standing in front of you, her face expressing what could either be described as defeat or depression, Leia watched you. From her energy you could feel the sorrow, the regret, rolling off heavily. Unlike her however, the sight of her made you more enraged than solemn. Despite her intentions, you felt betrayed.

“I…I’m so sorry.”

Pulling your lips into a thin line you just faintly shook your head, your tone grew venomous.

“Talk is cheap.”

Her expression fell even deeper. Though you could feel that she was being genuine, you weren’t ready to be so forgiving. This woman, your mother-in-law, brought you and Kylo into a place that you wouldn’t be welcomed. In her distracted antics to get her son back however, she lost all sensible judgement of what was and wasn’t the best way to do so. You didn’t resent her for wanting her son back, rather that she didn’t bother to think the whole thing through. Even with the unconditional love she had for her son, she should have been easily able to realize her fellow Resistance members would not be warm or welcoming to anyone aboard that shuttle but her. Kylo was no angel, and the Resistance no forgiving saints. 

“You knew…you knew no one would welcome him here. Yet you bring him, our son and I here as if they’ll just be oh so accepting.”

“(Y/N) I-”

“You’re the reason my son is sobbing to the point of exhaustion. You did this.”

Seeing her eyes start to glisten a bit, you stopped yourself short. The tears in your own eyes weren’t far from falling either. With how infuriated you were however, you weren’t going to let any of them see you crack.

“We’re done for tonight.”

Not bothering to look at her again you made your way back into the command shuttle. Sure the Resistance had rooms, but you weren’t going to trust them with housing you and your son. Who knows what they’d do to either of you if they could. Torturing Kylo was something most of these people were looking forward to. You could sense it, even see it in their hostile nature. The thought sent a shiver down your spine and gave the tears you were holding in an extra push. 

Making your way up the ramp, you carefully hit the control to shut the door. As the familiar dark red hues were the only lights inside, you found yourself oddly comforted inside, enclosed, in the shuttle. Still attempting to soothe (Y/S/N) you wandered around the shuttle trying to find blankets for the two of you. Stumbling upon the storage closet you finally found all the bedding supplies meant to be used with the one lounge seat inside. Seeing as Kylo rarely slept, his shuttle was not made to accommodate anyone who did. Taking what you needed you made your way over to the lounge seat, lying one of the blankets on the black leather. Carefully you pulled (Y/S/N) off of your shoulder and set him down on the seat. His round face was flushed, stained with tears, his nose running and his eyes bloodshot. He was still hopelessly crying, but his energy was wearing thin. Crouching down, you carefully reached forward and started gently wiping his tears from his round cheeks. His glistening doe eyes looked up at you.

“Mommy, I want daddy.”

“I know you do.”

“I’m gonna find him.”

Shaking your head with a little grin you held onto one of his arms.

“No you aren’t. You’re going to sleep here with me, and in the morning we’ll go find him. Ok?”

“But mommy-”

“No (Y/S/N).”

“Mommy he needs us.”

“He’s fine (Y/S/N). I swear to you he is okay.”

He looked hesitant, as if not sure he could trust what you were saying. He had seen the look on his fathers face when they dragged him away, and it surely wasn’t one of someone who was calm and collected. Though he was only 3, untrained with the force, and still wholly dependent on you and Kylo, he felt as though it was his mission to go and find his father and bring him back to you both. He didn’t understand everything quite well, but he understood the idea of family. Suddenly getting an idea of how to persuade him, you smirked. 

“Daddy would want you to get your sleep you know.”

He sniffled, running his free forearm under his nostrils.

“He would?”

You nodded, gently patting the leather seat he was on.

“He doesn’t want you exhausted and grumpy. Now come on, lets go to bed.”

Reluctantly (Y/S/N) allowed you to pick him up and lay him next to you as you got yourself comfortable on the lounge seat. Snuggling close to your swollen side, (Y/S/N) sniffled again. Wrapping your arm around him, you slowly started stroking his back to try and soothe him to sleep. After 2 minutes you felt him shuffle next to you, restlessly squirming. 

“I can’t sleep mommy.”

“You haven’t even tried silly. Just close your eyes.”

As his eyes slowly fell shut you started to softly sing to him, a lullaby from your home planet that you often sang to him. Much like Kylo, he was a restless soul and always needed extra help being coaxed to sleep.  
Peering over to your side after a few moments you finally saw his eyelids fall shut, his hot breath hitting the side of your stomach through your shirt. You felt a little ease finally wash over you as you saw him slip into his peaceful slumber. Releasing a sigh you stared up at the ceiling, contemplating what you were possibly going to do next. Any escape from the Resistance for Kylo wouldn’t be easy, and likely whatever his sentence would be it wouldn’t be light. Trying to sense him around the base, you closed your eyes and sighed. Focusing your energy, you tried everything to reach out to him, but something was blocking you. Opening your eyes again you stared at the ceiling once again, as if in defeat. The Resistance was assuring neither of you got any leverage to plan an escape. 

\---

Sitting in a solitary cell, no windows or exposure available, Kylo sat on the ground, hanging his forearms over his knees with his head up against the wall. In all honesty he should have seen a scenario like this coming, with the past record he had. Eventually his sins would catch up with him, they had to. Never in his mind however, did he end up dragging you or your son into it with him. Knowing the nightmare of him being dragged away was recurring for his son, only made the weight on his heart heavier as he stared at the blank walls surrounding him. Internally he was beating himself up over the whole thing. He should have listened to his gut instinct about (Y/S/N)’s dream that was in fact a force vision. In a perfect world, he would have listened to him and found a way for you both to leave the base safely, then after the attack joined you both, to live quietly and peacefully wherever you so desired. At this point in his life, he wanted nothing to do with either side. There was nothing he wanted more than to take you and your son somewhere off the grid, to just disappear, do whatever you felt like as you raised your family. But of course, life had other plans. In this case, it seemed as though life would not be satisfied until he paid at least some dues for his past. He couldn’t runaway so easily, at least not yet. 

\---

With the early hours of the morning finally rolling around Leia stood pacing the control room. She had been pacing in the same lines for over an hour, trying to formulate some kind of escape plan for you. The guilt over what she had unintentionally caused was eating her from the inside. Your last words to her that evening had only cut deeper into her already broken heart as she watched her good intentions set a blaze and soiled in front of her. She had never intended for her son to end up on trial after his arrival, if anything she just wanted to bring you all home to be with her. After hearing your cold rhetoric towards her, she realized just how flawed her plan had been. Her unconditional love for her son caused her to forget that there were others at the base who had not even the slightest hint of that sentiment for him. She had been so focused on simply getting him to agree that everything else seemed to simply disappear in her mind. Hearing footsteps come down the steps she stopped in her pacing to turn. Over her shoulder she saw Poe, flashing her a faint grin.

“Morning General.”

“Good morning Poe.”

Sighing she turned her focus back to the ground as she crossed her arms, tapping one of her feet. Poe approached her, clearing his throat.

“Are you alright General?”

Pausing in her contemplation, she turned her gaze up to Poe once again.

“Not really Poe.”

“Anything I can do?”

Faintly grinning Leia sighed, arms still crossed as she turned herself to face Poe.

“Nothing simple you can do, unfortunately.”

Poe nodded, “General…as much as I hate to see you like this, I can’t…I can’t do what you’d like me to. …It’s not something I can stand for.”

Dropping her faint grin instantly Leia stared back at Poe, solemn.

“He needs to pay his dues General.”

“…I don’t expect you to understand, but he is not just the man you all paint him to be. …There is still light in him.”

“General the last time you said that we ended up with your husband, his own father killed by his own hands. I hate to say it…but I don’t-”

“Don’t finish that thought Dameron. You’re not a parent, and I know my son.”

Poe sighed, running a hand down his face. He knew there was no winning with Leia when it came to discussing her son.

“Well…then at the very least I hope for your sake that his sentence is…generous.”

Smiling at Poe, she gently placed her hand on his shoulder. He returned her smile warmly.

“Me too.”

“Uhm, General Organa?”

Hearing your familiar voice Leia turned to look at you, Poe following her gaze to see you standing in the doorway, (Y/S/N) holding your hand as he tried hiding behind you. 

“Yes (Y/N).”

“May I have a word?”

Poe just barely nodded to you as you gave him the faintest twitch of a grin.

“Of course.”

Gesturing for you to come over you gently pulled (Y/S/N) with you over to Leia.

“Should I-”

“You’re fine pilot, nothing too personal.”

You cut him short as you brought yourself a foot or so away from Leia. He nodded as he faced you both with Leia.

“What would you like to discuss?”

From behind your leg you felt (Y/S/N) head of fluffy hair brush against your pants as he leaned forward.

“I want my daddy back.”

You looked down to him arching a brow, as he looked up to you, sensing your thoughts.

“Please.”

Grinning to herself Leia nodded.

“We actually wanted to discuss that over breakfast, but like his father he’s a little…blunt.”

“Yes, surely we could.”

“Can we get a big breakfast? I’m hungry…oh! And mommy has to feed the babies too.”

Smiling at his inquiry you suddenly froze.

“What did you say?”

“I want a big breakfast and daddy back.”

You crouched down to his height as you focused his attention on you.

“Yes I know that, but the other part.”

“You’re pregnant?”

From where you were crouched you could feel Leia’s gut sink even lower. No matter the sentence her son received, it would likely be nothing that would have him home in time to be with you by your due date. There was yet another weight on the shoulders of his fate after trial. Turning to Leia, looking up to her, you could see her heartbroken expression. You nodded.

“5 months.” 

Though she didn’t physically do anything, you could sense within her a sort of gasp. Her aura weighed even heavier now with guilt. Just barely parting her lips she finally spoke.

“Congratulations.”

You nodded to her, opting to remain quiet. She nodded her head off to the side.

“Let’s get breakfast.”

“Is daddy going to be there?”

(Y/S/N) asked as he lightly tugged on your sleeve to get your attention. With a sigh you shook your head, moving some of his fluffy hair from his face.  
“No he won’t. I’m sorry.”

His little brows furrowed as you could feel him grow frustrated once again.

“But you said we would find daddy.”

“We have to talk to grandma first.”

“I don’t want grandma, I want daddy!”

Taking a deep breath you gently grasped onto his arm.

“If you want to find daddy you have to cooperate with grandma ok? She’s going to feed us and then tell us where he is.”

Still frustrated, (Y/S/N) huffed, just barely stomping his small foot onto the ground. He was so much like Kylo sometimes it actually scared you. You loved a lot of qualities about Kylo, but the negative ones were definitely things you did not want passed on for the most part.

“Fine.”

Standing back up you gently slid your hand over (Y/S/N)’s, taking him along with you as you followed behind Leia who led you to the base’s cantina. 

\---

Sitting at one of the tables in the cantina you sat in a tense silence with Leia across from you, (Y/S/N) next to you as he happily swung his feet and took bites of his food. There had been times you wanted to pick Leia’s brain, knowing how powerful of a Rebellion princess she once was and how successful of a general she was now, but now didn’t seem like the time. Your focus had to be getting off of that base with Kylo in tow. Finally clearing her throat, you made eye contact with her.

“I first and foremost, would like to sincerely apologize for what happened. I…I obviously only considered my plan and what I hoped for. I didn’t in anyway intend for him to be taken away from you.”

You nodded, “Thank you.”

“I understand if you’re still hesitant to trust me, but I truly mean no ill will towards you or my son.”

Remaining silent, you simply stared at her as you took another bite, waiting for her to continue.

“I can’t take you to him now, but after his trial he is allowed visitors.”

You could feel (Y/S/N)’s feet stop swinging. The innocently content feeling next to you instantly faded into disappointment. Gently rubbing your hand over his back you tried to coax him.

“I’m guessing you’ll want to watch the trial?”

You nodded, “I need to see what happens.”

“I want to go.”

His voice was so soft you almost didn’t hear it as he looked into his lap.

“(Y/S/N) you can’t go. Trials are for adults, you wouldn’t want to be there.”

“I want to go!”

Sighing you looked back up to Leia who was grinning faintly at (Y/S/N). 

“You can come sweetheart, but you have to stay with your mom and do as she says. How does that sound?”

Looking up from his lap over to Leia he shyly nodded to her. She nodded back with a smile.

“Good.”

She turned to you with a look of concern.

“Are you going to be okay sitting for that long?”

You shrugged, “I can always get up and pace around my seat.”

“Would you be interested in visiting the med bay at all? Do you need anything?”

You shook your head with a little smirk.

“No offense to you, but I don’t really want to be around other Resistance members here, aside from you. Especially in this condition.”

“I see.”

“…Daddy doesn’t like the Resistance.”

You smirked at (Y/S/N), rubbing his shoulder.

“No, but he likes grandma.”

Looking to Leia again, he quickly looked her over. From what you could see, you could tell he was unknowingly channeling his instinct from the force, trying to sense who Leia was and what her intentions were. He couldn’t quite understand it yet, but he was definitely aware of his ability.

“Ok.”

Leia smiled at him.

\---

Hours later, with the afternoon rolling in the Resistance made the trek to Coruscant for the trial. Delegates and representatives from all over the galaxy were gathering for this anticipated and, in their opinion, long overdue occasion. Though the city scenery was beautiful with the setting sun filtering through it, the feeling in the air was anything but. Once you landed and Leia escorted you out of the infamous Milinieum Falcon, it hit you like a ton of bricks. Not many recognized you, so for the most part people didn’t hold back any thoughts they had about your husband.  
With every step you took you got hit with one insult or degrading assumption after the other. The crowds minds were littered with them.

Scum. Murderer. Souless leach. Brooding creep. Blood thirsty bastard. Mutt. 

Trying to withhold your anger you clenched your jaw and attempted to not strain your grip on (Y/S/N) in your arms. Your skin was crawling with every word and graphic image of torture that hit your mind. Even Kylo, the Kylo Ren, never had such horribly twisted ‘fantasies’ in his head. He was definitely not a light hearted soul, but even with his enemies he was not so graphic in imagining their demise. If anything he imagined it quite simply, cut with a saber and ended with a little smirk on his face. Maybe a little flare of a trick thrown in to be the smug showoff he was.   
Attempting to block out all the incoming influences you suddenly heard (Y/S/N) speak.

“Are we gonna see daddy?”

Gulping you lightly toussled his hair as you followed Leia into a lift.

“I don’t know honey. Maybe.”

Though the temptation inside you to simply slash your way through this crowd and take Kylo away was so alluring, your conscience was screaming at you to halt. If anything that would only make the price on Kylo’s head higher, and would add you and your son to the bounty. For once you couldn’t fight your way out of this, you simply had to bear through it. As the doors of the lift opened you followed behind Leia quickly into a small pod that was designed much like a living room. There were seats for all of you, a small table, even a small lamp. Seating yourself comfortably you sat down in the far corner, hoping no one at this hearing would see you or your son, as you adjusted (Y/S/N) in the seat next to you. Sighing you could suddenly feel your nerves creeping up on you, as if they had been holding back until this moment. This was Kylo’s trial. Your husband’s fate was lying in the hands of everyone surrounding you in this room. The father of your children was not a free man. All of those thoughts from earlier, would in fact be weighing in on what happened to him and what he supposedly deserved. The outcome, based on the factors so far, didn’t look promising. Taking a deep breath, you gently ran a hand down your stomach when you suddenly felt another hand brush your other hand.

“It’ll be okay mommy.”

Smiling at (Y/S/N) you could feel tears trying to fight their way forward. He was so young and naive that he had no idea what was really happening, no idea what his father was up against, let alone what his father had really done. To him, Kylo was the greatest person in the galaxy, as well as you. He saw you both in such an innocent and untainted light, it was almost heartbreaking. Gently you ran your thumb over the back of his small hand.

“I’m sure it will be.”

\---

Hour after hour passed, representative after representaive made their pleas and cases, as you sat in your pod, anxiously tapping your foot the entire time. Though you were brought food you only picked at it as you remained focused on the cases being made. Next to you, (Y/S/N) slowly awoke from his slumber.

“Bring forth the prisoner.”

Suddenly sitting up straighter, you leaned forward as you heard blast doors hiss open faintly from a distance. Peering just over the seat in front of you, you could see that familiar head of raven hair make its way down the narrow walkway in front of the judge. His large hands were tightly bound in heavy restraints behind his back as two guards guided him down by his arms. Halting somewhere towards the middle the whole room fell silent. You could sense all the tension and the anticipation in the room as everyone peered down the same way you did. Suddenly you heard (Y/S/N) shuffle next to you, he quietly gasped. Turning to him you saw him start climbing down from his chair and over to the edge where you were sitting. Practically jumping for joy he pointed down to the walkway as he kept looking back to you.

“Mommy, mommy I see daddy!”

“Ssshh, yes honey I see him too.” 

Gently grabbing him, you slowly pulled him into your lap as you scooted yourself closer to the edge. Holding (Y/S/N)’s handsd in yours you released a deep breath you hadn’t realized you were holding in as you heard the judge clear his throat.

“In consideration of all the testaments by witnesses and parties affected by your actions, Sir Kylo Ren, the court of the Republic has come to a unanimous agreement on your sentence.”

Feeling your heart start to pump harder against your chest, you held (Y/S/N) tighter to you. The energy you felt around you at this point didn’t matter, all that mattered was what was unfolding on that narrow strip of metal below you. 

“Due to the volume, circumstances and nature of your actions against the galaxy, the court has unanimously agreed that our original sentence of life in prison is not suitable nor nearly enough for the crimes you have committed.”

Your gut took a freefall as you instantly covered (Y/S/N)’s ears. The words didn’t have to be spoken yet for you to know exactly where this was going.

“You are sentenced to death, by public execution in front of this court tomorrow morning.”

Not able to contain the tears you had choked back the entire time you were at the Resistance and in this hearing, you let the water works slowly release, placing a hand over your mouth. Your body started shaking as your eyes winced shut, the warm drops faintly dropped onto your hand as you held it there. Your heart felt as though it had taken the plummet with your gut, or just stopped entirely for a moment. It was as if your insides were collapsing inside as you tried to silence your building sobs. From your side you could feel Leia’s heart break as well. The second her eyes landed on you, the deeper the cut through it grew. (Y/S/N) still looking around confused, slowly removed your hands from his ears as he turned his curious gaze towards you.

“Mommy what happened?”

“Court is dismissed.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Kylo’s sentence is given, he is taken away to a holding cell in Coruscant. Seeing how distraught you are over the whole matter, Leia finds a way to get you to him, in order to see him at least one last time.

As the men took Kylo off of the main walkway, you found yourself trying to suppress the sound of your crying. The sight of him with his head bowed, hands bound behind him, broke your heart. Of course you knew neither Kylo or yourself were saints, you weren’t necessarily worthy of being spared, but you so desperately wish you could be. At least right now. There couldn’t possibly be a worse case scenario for when the galaxy decided Kylo needed to be served justice. Sensing your distress from down below, Kylo looked up to where you were seated. The second his eyes met yours you could see the pain within them, his lip just barely quivering. From where you were seated you could feel his heart ache within him, the sight of you crying, your son on your lap and aloof as to what was happening, only made it harder for him carry on down that walkway. He wanted nothing more than to rip himself from these men’s grip and run to you, take you and his son into his arms and never let go. His solemn gaze disappeared from your sight, but through your mind you could hear his voice echo.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry for everything.”

Feeling your tears try to push even harder you took a deep and painful breath in. He had said those very words hundreds of times to you, but they had never carried as much weight as they did now. Now it was as if the mere two words he started with were driving a dagger into your chest. You had to at least hold it together for (Y/S/N). His force sensitivity would already clue him in to the fact that your heart was breaking, but if you could manage, you would assure he had no idea why. At least not yet. You couldn’t bare to be the one explaining why you were in this court, why when he finally saw his father it would have to be a timed and overwhelmingly emotional moment. Finally looking over to your right you saw Leia hunched over in her seat, a hanckerchief held to her chin as she just stared into the space in front of you both. Her expression may have been blank but by the extra glisten that her eyes held you could see that she had shed tears of her own. Holding your own son in your lap, you could only imagine what Leia was thinking at this moment, what she was feeling. Despite your force sensitivity, the overwhelming melancholy present in your booth was all melding together, no one energy was distinguishable from the other. She knew who her son was within the Order, yet, unlike those that held him to trial, they did not know he was before and without it. You and Leia were the only souls in the galaxy that held such a privilege. A privilege in this moment that felt more like a curse. Feeling a light tug at the sleeve of your gown you peered down to meet the inquistive doe eyes of (Y/S/N).

“Where did daddy go?”

“…He um…he went to a special room honey.”

You could feel the disappointment within him as his little heart sank. 

“But I want to see him.”

Feeling as though your own heart was being plunged deeper down into your gut you sighed as you gently ran a hand over his raven locks.

“I know, I want to see him too.”

Seeing his tears start again, your faint smile disappeared. Pulling him closer to yourself as you closed your eyes and released a sigh. There was nothing you wanted more than for this to just be some horrible nightmare. Maybe, if you were so lucky, Kylo would shake you awake and you’d realize you were still at the base, with (Y/S/N) sleeping peacefully between you both. The force however, had other plans for you and Kylo. Ones that in this moment, with the child in your lap as well as the ones yet to enter the world in your stomach, seemed unnaturally cruel. 

“…(Y/N).”

Opening your eyes again you peered over to Leia, who had just finished wiping a tear from her cheek as your eyes met hers. You could see the pain in them, it was undeniable and palpable. 

“When I said he had visiting hours…that offer still stands here.”

A tinge of relief washed over your aching heart at the sound of those words. Though you still hesitated to trust Leia fully, deep down you knew she only held the best of intentions for you and her son. Despite the flaws in her plans her heart was in the right place. She wanted you together, as a family, happily living in peace, no matter what side of this war you chose. 

“What time can we go see him?”

“…Well his…event tomorrow is in the morning. So we should be allowed to see him this late into the evening.”

“You can arrange that?”

She smiled ever so faintly, obviously forcing it out of herself.

“I would burn the place down to talk to him…before that.”

Faintly smiling back at her you nodded. (Y/S/N) looked between you and Leia, his energy picking up just the slightest in elation.

“We get to see daddy?”

Brushing the hair from his face you nodded.

“Yes we’re going to go see him, finally.”

Grinning from ear to ear, (Y/S/N) started lightly bouncing in your lap as he clapped his small hands together.

“Let’s go, let’s go!”

Feeling your heart sink into your shoes you swallowed. Watching his jubilant grin and clapping over this was making your stomach churn. He was so young, so naive, there were no words you could use that would make the reality of what this was any easier for him. It would likely have to all be a lie, for the sake of not entirely destroying his innocent heart. 

“Yeah…in a minute.”

Standing from your seat as you moved (Y/S/N) more appropriately to your side you took a deep breath out. The simple breath alone felt as though your lungs were weighing themselves down inside your chest. Your heart could only make strong, slow beats as it barely hit against your ribs. Looking to Leia you nodded once.

“Lead the way.” 

\---

In yet another solitary cell, Kylo sat against the wall. Back hunched forward, his large hand covering his pale flushed face as tears slipped down his cheeks. He was not in the slightest afraid of death, but what would happen to you under the circumstances of his death. In his opinion he had no where near the amount of time he wanted to spend with you. The Order had already pulled you two to be distant, but this, this was some cruel punishment the Force was bringing upon both of you. He understood what he had done, well aware that he would pay whether in this life or the next, yet he still couldn’t cope with you being brought into this. Aside from your own deeds, you had done nothing that warranted such a punishment. As another sob racked through his large frame he wiped the tears from his cheeks. Even in his weakest moments in the past, he had not felt this broken from within. The only event that ever came to close to equating with this kind of pain was the evening after Han’s death. Though Kylo had you craddling his head in your lap whispering words of comfort, his heart was slowly ripping from the seams. Unable to deal with the reality of what he had done, despite seeing it as justified. This day, was proving to give that night a run for its money. Just as he released a shaky breath, leaning his head against the wall once again he heard a sort of static come through his cell.

“Prisoner Kylo Ren, admitted to have 3 visitors this evening. Approve or deny.”

Feeling his heart sink, yet beat even harder at the thought of seeing anyone again he stuttered out his response.

“A-approve. Approve!”

“Approved.”

Sighing Kylo found himself now restless, his knee beginning to bounce in anticipation. He was sure that once he was walked back to his cell, catching that small fleeting glance of you that that was the end. The relief and sorrow he felt realizing that he would at least get to properly say goodbye settled in as he started running through all the potential things he could say to you.

I love you. I’ve loved nothing more in the galaxy than you and (Y/S/N). Remember me. Please stay safe. Tell the baby about me.

The more he thought over the possibility of his words, the heavier his heart weighed on his lungs. He knew it had to be said, but couldn’t cope with the fact that it would be the last time they were said. Even with hundreds of nights where nightmares of this very scenario playing out, thousands of considerations of what could possibly happen an hour from your goodbyes, he never saw this coming. He had never envisioned that in his death, he would be on public display for you and an audience to watch.Then another scenario crossed his mind, what if the three visitors did not include you or his son? Though the destruction of the First Order base had been catastrophic, it was absolutely possible to survive it. What if his visitors were Hux, or Phasma, or worse…what if it was Snoke? His spine shivered at the thought. To have his last moments of goodbyes sent with the people who had aided and abetted him into this lifestyle, into this fate and demise. Hearing the door unlatch, Kylo could already feel his heart ramming against his chest in anticipation. As his lips parted he saw the familiar head of fluffy raven hair come bouncing from behind the door as (Y/S/N) came charging towards him. Stopping himself from standing at his full height, Kylo stayed crouched to the ground as he held his arms open for (Y/S/N).

“Daddy, daddy!!”

Without missing a beat (Y/S/N) leaped into Kylo’s grip, wrapping his short arms around Kylo’s neck as Kylo closed his arms tightly around him. Already feeling the tears coming on he nestled his nose into his son’s full head of hair, closing his eyes.

“I missed you buddy.”

“I missed you more daddy.”

At that Kylo could feel his heart take an aching pulse inside of him. Holding (Y/S/N) closer to him, Kylo tried memorizing the way this small child felt in his arms, how his hair looked just like his own, how warm and welcoming he was. As he released a hot wavering breath onto (Y/S/N)’s head Kylo’s eyes peered up to see you enter the room. The energy between you, just from making eye contact was already greatly intense. You both were hurting deeply and both knew what this moment may be, both desperate to just hold each other. Carefully picking (Y/S/N) up into his arms, Kylo wasted no time making his way over to you. Wrapping you in his embrace with (Y/S/N) between the two of you, Kylo closed his eyes in bliss. Despite the horrible reality of this meeting, you were in his arms again. Safe and warm for at least this point in time. The warm feeling of you up against him brought him comfort, a comfort he didn’t want to forget. Hearing you sniffle Kylo pulled you from his shoulder for a moment as he gently held your chin in his hand. Smoothly running his thumb over your jaw he gently placed a loving kiss to your lips. Pulling away, still held closely to his chest, you looked deep into his eyes.

“Hello again.”

Huffing faintly at him you sniffled once more before grinning.

“Hello.”

“Daddy, daddy, I was looking for you for FOREVER!”

Chuckling Kylo raised his brows as he looked at (Y/S/N).

“Is that so?”

“Yeah mommy had to talk to lots of people to find you and grandma helped.”

Arching a brow Kylo looked to you, his thoughts traveling to your mind.

“My mother?”

You nodded, “She didn’t plan for any of this Kylo…she truly, honestly means well. She was the one who got us in here to see you.”

Releasing a sigh through his nostrils Kylo turned to (Y/S/N) again.

“Were you good for your mother?”

You arched a brow as (Y/S/N) peered over to you sheepishly before turning back to Kylo.

“…Maybe.”

“(Y/S/N).”

“He cried, threw a few fits, but I’m not holding it against him. I wanted to too.”

Grinning Kylo brought his lips to your head chastely placing a kiss atop it. Just as he pulled away he looked down to your stomach, the other reality of this whole predicament weighing heavily on his heart. It was a whole other issue you had yet to discuss with the development of his capture and impending death.

“And how was this one with you?”

Clearing your throat you gave Kylo a faint grin. It was a horrible moment to finally be discovering this, but he had to know. 

“They were both fine.”

Bringing his wide brown eyes and parted lips to your gaze Kylo stuttered.

“B-both?”

You nodded, “(Y/S/N) brought it to my attention that there’s two force signatures, not just one.” 

“H-how?”

“Twins skip generations…guess we’re just lucky that way.”

Kylo’s face fell as he looked from you to your protruding stomach. He knew you weren’t blaming him for this, but by your tone he could tell you were resentful. You couldn’t help but feel as though the force had it out for the both of you. This all encompassing power wanted Kylo to not only suffer insurmountable amounts of guilt and sorrow as he took his last breaths, but leave you to struggle and attempt to carry on with your own heavy heart for as long as it deemed appropriate. Seeing how little it seemed to favor you already, you figured it would draw out your suffering for years to come. Deciding to change the subject before (Y/S/N) caught on too early you cleared your throat.

“Speaking of twins…umm…your mother wants to speak to you. You know…given the circumstances.”

Falling silent Kylo seemed to try and keep his eyes on your stomach rather than your eyes.

“Kylo…you have to. Think about how she feels with all of this…you’re her only child. Please…for me?”

Meeting your gaze once again, you could feel his hesitation as well as his conflicting emotions. His mother had for the most part gotten him into this mess, then again, it would be the last time he could speak to her. He didn’t particularly hold any strong resentment for his mother, though he surely wasn’t fond of her when he turned, and he knew there was no other person in the galaxy that would care for him so unconditionally. Not even you. Even with the knowledge of all the atrocities he had committed, she still held hope in who he was. Earning her the title ‘devil’s advocate’ with some, she still held her ground. She was the first and only person who had faith in him for years, and there were not enough words to thank her for that. Before he could fully protest, he could feel her presence enter the room. With a heavy heart she attempted to give Kylo a smile. Simply staring back at her he waited for her to fully enter the room and approach him before he gave her a short nod. 

“It’s been a while.”

Clearing his throat Kylo nodded.

“It has.”

“…I’ve missed you.”

Hesitating as he heard the words leave her mouth he remained still, watching her expression grow solemn. From what you could sense in her, you could tell that she was genuine. She was not waiting to bait Kylo into information for the Resistance or earn an apology, just simply expressing her hearts deep regret over her only son. You were sure if you had probed her mind in this instant she would be recalling the years when Kylo was just a baby or toddler.

“I heard.”

“I know we’ve been at odds for years now…but I just want you to know, I forgive you.”

As if the galaxy itself had shifted, you felt Kylo’s head snap up to Leia, now at full attention. The shock was evident on his face as his lips formed an ‘o’. Like ice on a hot day, his heart began to warm the longer he kept his eyes on her.

“You…you what?”

“I forgive you…I do not at all excuse your actions…but I know that you suffered more than anyone ever cared to acknowledge, including your father and I. …We should have listened to you in those holos, when all you wanted was to come home. We pushed you away…and it only led you to worse things. Despite your horrible decisions…I know they weren’t entirely your own…desired choice.”

The energy flowing between Kylo and Leia was just as intense as it was when you had been sitting with them in the shuttle. The overwhelming pressure and heat of their deep emotions only made the air in the room heavier. Between mother and son, the connection was undeniable. Watching Kylo’s lip quiver you heard his faint voice respond.

“I-…I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry for, for everything. For the fights, the disregard of you and dad, the crimes against Luke, the crimes I committed around the galaxy. …The unspeakable thing I did to dad…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.”

The tears were now flowing from his deep brown eyes without care. He wanted to stay composed for this moment, but in front of his mother, he couldn’t help it. There was no part of him that felt as though he deserved her unconditional love, even with her maternal connection to him. He couldn’t deny the monster he was, the things he had done, and the things he had supported, yet she loved him despite all of that.   
Cautiously resting a part of her hand onto his shoulder with a greatly gentle nature Leia started crying herself. Though not as audibly as Kylo, the streams down her cheeks could not be mistaken.

“I forgive you.”

“B-but why? How?”

“Because you’re my son.”

Hunching over to better reach Leia’s shoulder Kylo started shamelessly crying into her shoulder as his back shook. Dampening the fabric of her gown, he let the tears flow freely as he felt her hand soothingly run up and down his large spine.

“You know…despite what you’ve done…I’m proud to see the man you’ve grown to be.”

Shaking his head into her shoulder he released a soft breath before speaking clearly.

“You shouldn’t be…there’s nothing to be proud of. I failed you as a son.”

“No you haven’t. You failed as a jedi and may have mostly failed the light…but you will never fail as my son. You could never fail at that. …and I don’t mean pride in your actions against the galaxy…I mean I have pride in the man I saw with his family. The man I know you truly are inside…I can’t begin to tell you how happy just the sight of you with them makes me as your mother.”

Pulling away from her shoulder finally Kylo wiped the tears from his eyes, trying to calm himself once again. 

“At least that’s something.”

She smiled solmenly as she nodded.

“Your father would have been proud to see you with them too. He may have a harder time forgiving…but he would be so proud to see you with (Y/N)…with your son. I know it.”

Kylo took a deep breath in, trying to clear his nostrils as he kept his now watery eyes on Leia.

“He loved (Y/N) when he met her you know?”

Looking over Leia’s shoulder at you, Kylo saw you just barely grin. Of course you had known that Han was conflicted with the situation you met him in, wishing it was unfolding in some other way. With the way he introduced you to person after person when they asked him who you were, you could sense the deeply buried and disguised pride he had. He was both relieved and proud to hear his son had found someone, despite who he had become, to share his life with. You could only imagine how hard of a time he would have hiding his pride had he met (Y/S/N), seeing how good Kylo was with him.

“…He did?”

Leia nodded, “He could see how much she loved you. I could too.”

Sniffling Kylo returned his gaze to Leia.

“I’m sorry…that I ruined the potential for us all to be a family again…I should have listened to him when I had the chance.”

Sighing Leia ran her hand up Kylo’s bicep, shaking her head.

“What’s done is done…we weren’t meant to have it that way.”

Kylo shook his head, “We could have if it wasn’t for me…please…just let me say it without comforting me. I did it…I caused this…we could have had a better life it weren’t for my clouded decisions…and I’m sorry.”

Leia nodded, choosing to silently acknowledge Kylo’s words. Though a part of his heart was mended hearing his mother’s forgiveness, he still felt unworthy and was not prepared to hear her say it over and over again. After what he had done to his own father, he couldn’t see how he would ever be welcomed back into her arms or even acknowledged as her child. He had felt her pain that day, it was undeniable, and it haunted him almost every night since.

“…Can I ask you to make me a promise? I know I shouldn’t be the one to b-”

“What do you need dear?”

Swallowing Kylo looked between you and Leia, wetting his lips as he sniffled once again and cleared his throat.

“I need you to watch out for (Y/N) and (Y/S/N)…at least for a while. I know she won’t feel welcomed at the Resistance…but she needs you.”

Though a part of you wanted to yell at Kylo for making such a preposition, the more he spoke, the more you were grateful for his thoughtfulness.

“She’s going to need your help, a place to stay, a place to safely deliver the twins, and help watching (Y/S/N). Please…all I ask is you keep her with you for at least a year.”

Turning to you, Leia gave you a warm smile.

“She’s more than welcome in my home at any time for as long as she needs. You’ll never have to ask dear, just show up at my doorstep and tell me what you need.”

Feeling your heart break just a little at her words you gave her your best attempt at a smile, with a short nod.

“I’ll be sure to remember that.”

Turning back to Kylo she sighed.

“You’ll assure (Y/N) has good medical care? …She struggled with (Y/S/N)…I don’t want anything to happen to her.”

Leia nodded, “Absolutely. She’ll receive nothing but the best. I assure you she’ll be in good hands. As well as the twins.”

Sighing Kylo looked down from Leia to see (Y/S/N), still staring at Kylo with glistening doe eyes. The sight alone was not making anything about this moment easier for Kylo, if anything it was making it worse. He had promised himself after shedding those tears shamelessly into his mothers shoulder he would pull himself together, but it seemed as though it wasn’t going to happen.

“Daddy…what’s happening?”

Crouching back down to (Y/S/N)’s height, Kylo gently held onto his back. Leia cleared her throat as she patted Kylo on the back.

“I’ll leave you to be together…(Y/N) I’ll be outside. …And…son.”

Kylo looked up to Leia with softer eyes.

“I love you…no matter what.”

Releasing a wavering breath, Kylo nodded.

“I love you too mom.”

Feeling her heart swell at just those words she laid a hand over her chest as she gave his back one last stroke of comfort. Carefully weaving around you all she left the room, closing the door behind her. Kylo turned his attention back to (Y/S/N). 

“(Y/S/N)…I…I have to go away for a while. A long while…and you can’t go with me.”

Feeling the toddlers heart practically shatter into bits at that instant, Kylo tried to hold his composure.

“But daddy-”

“You’ve got to listen to me (Y/S/N). I may be gone, but you’ll have mom, grandma and your siblings…ok?”

“But I want you too daddy.”

“I know you do…so does mom…and grandma…but it can’t be that way.”

Feeling as though his words were going to suffocate him at any moment, Kylo took a deep breath once again as he carried on. He had to get this over with, or he’d regret it with every last second he had left. Though he couldn’t deny how deeply it hurt him to feel his sons emotions rolling into him, the deep growing sorrow unable to be ignored. 

“Mom’s going to take great care of you, like she always does ok? But I need you to make me a promise.”

(Y/S/N) nodded, earnestly and intently looking back into Kylo’s eyes.

“If mom can’t take care of herself, or needs help, I need you to be there for her ok? …You know how much I love her don’t you?”

(Y/S/N) nodded again.

“Good, that’s why I need you to take care of her. As for your siblings…when your siblings are born, I need you to help mom with that too ok? She’s going to be tired, more so than when you were born…and I won’t be there to help. You need to help her watch them…play with them…maybe when they’re older feed them..”

Starting to feel his lip quiver at his words he tried to hold himself together. Those were all things he wanted to witness, he wanted to participate in, things his heart could swell over just the thought of, all things he would never get to see. 

“You’re going to help mom with them? Be a good big brother?”

He nodded again, as you covered your quivering lips with your palm. 

“Good. …Also…I want one more big promise from you, ok? …You have to promise me…that when you grow up…you will not follow in my footsteps.”

“But daddy I want to be just like-”

“No (Y/S/N)…no you don’t. …I’m being taken away because of who I am. Who I am with you and mom…you can aspire to be like that…but please (Y/S/N), for my sake…never, ever follow in my footsteps. …Listen to your mother and follow her advice. She’ll always know what’s best for you…ok?”

Looking down to his hands, his growing disappointment hitting you and Kylo both in heavily like waves hitting the shore, (Y/S/N) just faintly mumbled.

“Ok.”

“Come here.”

Pulling (Y/S/N) into his arms, Kylo gripped onto him tightly, giving the toddler a good solid squeeze. The feeling alone of having his son in his arms, for the last time, was too much for him. The tears he was forcing back could no longer be kept at bay as one slipped down his already flushed cheeks. Patting (Y/S/N) on the back Kylo gave him a soft kiss to the top of his head.

“Be good ok?”

(Y/S/N) remained silent, obviously not wanting to accept what was being told to him. As Kylo gently released him from his hold, standing at his full height, he looked over to you. Your already aching heart sinking into your gut. He walked up to you, gently taking your hands in his.

“I don’t have nearly enough time to tell you all the things I want to tell you.”

Swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat you shrugged.

“You could try.”

Faintly smiling, Kylo briefly placed a soft kiss to your forehead. Pulling back once again so he could look into your glistening (Y/E/C) eyes he sighed.

“I know we wanted this to go on for much longer than it is…but I’m more than thankful for the time I’ve had with you.”

Not being able to hold back, your tears slowly started rolling down your cheeks as he continued, trying to hold himself together as he could feel (Y/S/N)’s eyes on both of you.

“You’ve made me the happiest I could ever hope to be. Despite my flaws, despite everything, you stayed and you accepted me…and that’s more than I could have ever hoped for.”

Smiling at him, a tear slipped into the crevice between your lips.

“You and (Y/S/N) are the best things to ever happen to me…I don’t know how the force even bothered to give me something so rewarding…but I wouldn’t change it for anything…I don’t want to question it.”

Looking down he gently brought his hands to your stomach, carefully caressing it. Releasing a wavering sigh he crouched down in front of you.

“I’m sorry I won’t…be able to meet the other best things to happen to me…but I know they’ll be fine with you.”

As more tears started slipping down your cheeks you watched him lean closer to your belly.

“Go easy on her…she’s been through enough…I love you both.”

Placing a soft kiss to the fabric you felt his lips gently brush against you, the fabric too thick to feel his tears staining it. Standing to his full height again he carefully wiped the tears from his cheeks as he looked at you once again. Shaking your head at him, you sniffled.

“Please.”

“…There’s nothing else we can do (Y/N). My fate has been decided.”

Shaking your head again you gripped onto his forearms.

“Kylo, that’s a fate determined by others…by people out for vengance. Please listen to me.”

“(Y/N)…stop, please…we have to accept what it is.”

“No we can fight it. I don’t want you to go.”

“…Think of it as going home.”

Feeling as though he had just dug a sword through your chest you started shaking your head again, your tears flowing more freely. The aching your heart was now making it harder to breathe. 

“No…your home is here with (Y/S/N) and me…please.”

“(Y/N) please…you’re only making this worse.”

Feeling your voice croak in your throat as you spoke, your tears streamed down your cheeks like waterfalls now.

“…I…I can’t do this without you.”

Grabbing onto your cheeks with a firm but gentle grip Kylo looked straight into your eyes, his streaming tears beginning to match your own.

“You can, and you have to…for the sake of our family you have to. You don’t need me.”

Shutting your eyes as you tried shaking your head in his grip, your cries started growing into sobs as your body started shaking.

“I do need you.”

“(Y/N)…you need to go on…without me.”

With sobs racking through your body as you kept your eyes winced closed you held onto his arms for support. It felt as though your knees were going to give out from underneath you at any given moment. You were already emotionally spent, and Kylo’s indifference to what was happening to him, despite all the circumstances, was only further driving your heart into shambles. You may have been independent, but with the tasks that laid ahead of you, you couldn’t imagine going through without Kylo. Once you found you loved Kylo, you couldn’t imagine a future without him. Death surely was inevitable, but you had never in your most morbid nightmares ever imagined it coming so soon.

“…I don’t know how I’m going to get through any of this without you.”

“You will…you will get through it. I’ll be with you, just…just in a different way.”

Hearing his breath hitch in the middle of his sentence, you could tell he was holding back his more vocal sobs. Bringing your foreheads together you could feel Kylo’s hot and heavy breaths hit your skin as he tried to compose himself once again. 

“Since you got to confess your love and everything…I just, I want you to know that I’m more than grateful for you too. You obviously helped in bringing me (Y/S/N)…you’ve stood by my side even in the most trying times…accepted me despite my equally troubling record. I love you…and I will never…ever forget you. Ever.”

Feeling one of his tears brush your cheek as it glided down you sniffled. Releasing a deep breath.

“That’s all I ask.”

Leaning down as he tilted his head at an appropriate angle, he brought your lips into a deep, passionate kiss. You could taste each others tears mixing between each exchange of your lips. As you held him there, you tried with all you had to memorize the flavor of his lips, knowing this would more than likely be the last time you ever held them to your own. Pulling away slowly, as he softly brushed the tears off of your cheeks he simply smiled at you. Taking in all of your features, the way your cheeks, even in this dampened state looked, how soft your skin felt, how warm your body was against his, the little glimmer in your (Y/E/C) eyes. Releasing a wavering sigh he gulped.

“I love you.”

At that you both suddenly jumped in a little startlement as the door to his cell flew open. Marching in without the slightest flinch were two of the jail guards. Grabbing (Y/S/N) off of the floor, one of the men grabbed him by the arm and started dragging him away, only causing him to scream at the top of his lungs as he threw himself to the floor.

“WAIT!! DADDY!!”

Feeling as though his heart couldn’t possibly sink any lower, Kylo was proven wrong as he watched his son dragged across the floor and into the hallway. The second he brought his eyes back to you however, the second man also gripped tightly onto your arm, forcefully dragging you from Kylo’s grip.

“Wait! We-”

“Visiting hours are up. You’ve had your time.”

“(Y/N), wait, let go of her!!”

About to charge forward Kylo was instantly halted by one of the men putting a tazer like weapon out in front of him, threatening Kylo.

“Take another step and someone will get it.”

Dropping his hands to his side Kylo’s expression faded to absolute depression as he watched the man drag you out of the room, you attempting to writhe out of his hold.

“I love you! I-”

Before you could say it once more the door was instantly thrown shut, leaving only the steel of the outside for you to gaze at. Throwing you beside your son on the ground the man sneered. As they walked back to their posts, Leia watched as your anger came to a boiling point. Seeing your arms about to raise she quickly gripped onto you, stopping you from the motion.

“(Y/N)! Please…I don’t want you hurt too. We’re already losing enough.”

Sighing, you couldn’t help but feel as though you were like a balloon, with all of the air sucked clear from it. You were spent, exhausted, emotionally you couldn’t handle more, physically you knew you would have to rest. Looking down next to you, you saw (Y/S/N) sobbing uncontrollably, worse than he had the night Kylo was taken away. Carefully you scooped him into your arms, craddling him close to you.

“Ssshhh, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

In a way it felt ironic, your son was at the same level of emotional distress as yourself, and at this point you were sure there no words you could muster up to comfort either of you. Feeling his fluffy locks against your chin, you tried releasing a deep breath, knowing you had to at least pretend you were the pillar of strength in this scenario.

“W-why is d-da-daddy leaving?!”

“I can’t explain why honey…not yet.”

“D-does daddy h-hate us?”

With that punch to your heart you shook your head, bringing (Y/S/N) in front of you, to see your eyes. Wiping away some of his tears, despite the ones still rolling down your own cheeks you sat him in your lap.

“No…no he never has and he never will. That’s not why he’s leaving honey. He will never hate you. You know he loves you as much as I do don’t you?”

Sobbing even harder (Y/S/N) nodded as he plunged his fluffy head back into your shoulder. Trying to stop yourself from crying any heavier than you already were, you took a deep breath, rocking yourself in order to comfort (Y/S/N).

“We’re going to be ok…we’re going to be ok…I promise.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With all the goodbyes said, and tears shed, Kylo’s very public demise goes forward. Though reluctant and absolutely destroyed from within by what she sees, (Y/N) agrees to go with Leia and watch. The evening return to the Resistance is both emotional and exhausting but leads to an unexpected turn.

“(Y/N)…”

Not bothering to open your eyes, you laid motionless, still worn from the events over the past few days. You were physically drained and wanted nothing more than to finally drift off to sleep, which you had been deprived since sitting at Kylo’s bedside. Your nerves were too high and your mind couldn’t process anything aside from the growing anxiety you had with every stitch sewn into him.

“Hmm?”

“…Why do you stay?”

Arching a brow as you nuzzled your head further into your pillow, you gave Kylo a little shrug.

“Are you really bringing this up right now?”

Turning to look at you Kylo’s lips parted, his eyes slowly growing glossy.

“I killed my own father (Y/N)…and you’re still here. I need to know. …Are you staying out of fear…or something else?”

Finally fluttering your eyes open you saw Kylo come into your momentarily hazey vision. Taking him in you saw the welling tears in his eyes, the way his lips were just barely quivering, the obvious dark circles under his eyes, obvious even under the bandages from his fresh scar. Furrowing your brows at him you shook your head.

“…I understand why you did it Kylo. I don’t have to whole heartedly agree with it…but it’s not my journey. Whether you regret or believe it with every fiber of your being I’ll support you.”

His bottom began to quiver more now as he looked over your face.

“…Even something as monstrous as that…as unforgiveable…and you…you’re willing to stay?”

You nodded as you felt your eyelids attempt to fight off the undeniable craving of rest. 

“I love you…and you do some crazy stuff for love…so I guess that’s my thing.”

As your eyes shut, sighing to yourself, you could hear the stifled whimpers from next to you, the bed lightly shaking with each sound. Slowly opening your eyes once again Kylo was covering the lower half of his face now, hunched forward as the ripples of his pain hit you. Sitting up slowly to join him you carefully brought a gentle hand to his back. 

“I-I killed him (Y/N)…his own son…I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”

“Ssshh…it’s ok…no matter which path you choose, I’ll be there.”

Sniffling he quickly wrapped you into his bare chest with his uninjured arm, holding onto you as if you were his life support. Tears slowly fell atop your head as you just nestled your head against him.

“…Thank you…thank you.”

Placing a soft kiss to his chest with a smile, you let your eyes fall shut once again as Kylo rocked you both.

\---

“(Y/N).”

Looking up from where you sat in the Falcon, you saw Leia, her eyes solemn as she looked over to you. From the energy her presence alone gave off, as well as her bloodshot eyes, you knew she had taken a good long while to relieve herself of her tears before coming to see you. 

“They’ll be…they’ll be starting in 30 minutes.”

Nodding with a small gulp you attempted a smile towards Leia. 

“Alright.”

Turning back to looking at the controls laying all in front of you in the captains seat of the Falcon, you carefully ran your fingertips over them. Despite the technology being rather outdated compared to what you were used to, you couldn’t help but admire it.

“Ben used to love sitting up here.”

Watching her take the seat next to you, your brow arched.

“My son…he loved to be up here.”

Smiling to yourself, imagining what Kylo looked like as a small toddler, you turned back to the control panel. In your mind, Kylo likely looked almost exactly like (Y/S/N), the fluffy head of hair, big curious brown eyes and chubby cheeks. To think a man such as Kylo was such a small innocent being like (Y/S/N), was at the least ironic, and heartbreaking. 

“I’m sure he did.”

“Han, when he was around, used to take him up here, bring him along on his smuggling routes. Of course unbeknownst to me.”

Turning to her once again you grinned. Though Kylo shared almost everything with you, sometimes the most morbid stories he had to offer, he kept much of his past tucked away. He knew you were indifferent to which path he chose in the force, being a grey force user yourself, but found rehashing his past a weakness. He didn’t want to remember who he once was, even if it meant hope in his redemption.

“He snuck him out?”

Leia nodded, crossing her arms with a little huff at the memory. 

“He used to scoop him out of the crib, Ben reaching up to him with the biggest grin on his face and take him in the Falcon, sometimes handing him over to Chewie and off they’d go. Poor kid had no idea what was happening except that he was with dad and Uncle Chewie.”

Smiling you shook your head, imagining the whole scenario. A grown smuggler with a small doe eyed toddler and wookie in tow for his negotiations. Sighing to yourself, you looked out the window, seeing the sun rise over the city scape of Coruscant. The orange hues glimmering off of the modern infrastructure. 

“…I don’t know if I can do this Leia…I may have seen carnage in war…but this is different.”

Sighing she nodded to you.

“I understand…it’s always different when its someone you love.”

Feeling your tears fighting to push into your eyes you released another sigh, shaking your head.

“I can’t see him like that…seeing him bound in front of the court was enough.”

“You know dear…the only reason I suggested you go is because of him.”

Looking back up to her, you waited for her to continue, your expression curious.

“…I know if I were him…I wouldn’t want the last thing I saw to be a crowd of bitter strangers. …You can choose to not go…I just wanted to put the suggestion forward. …I’m having a hard time convincing myself to go to be quite honest. …I’ve hardly accepted why we’re here.”

Nodding in agreement you cautiously placed a hand over Leia’s, running soothing circles over the back of her hand. Before your marriage to Kylo, you were surely not one to show any affection, let alone sympathy, but the years had changed you, luckily for the better. Looking up at you Leia gave you a faint smile.

“We…we can go together. …You’re absolutely right. …He shouldn’t have those bastards faces as the last thing he sees in this world. …Do we have anyone who can watch (Y/S/N)? There’s no way with any fiber of my being that I want him to see what’s going to happen.”

Nodding eagerly Leia’s smile faded.

“Oh no, no dear we would never subject him to such a thing. He’s far too young, he would never be able to recover from seeing that. …I didn’t bring staff with us, but we have 3PO and Chewie.”

You shrugged, “They’ll do. I just need someone to assure he doesn’t leave the ship under any circumstances.”

Leia nodded, “I’ll let them know.”

Releasing a deep breath, you tried to steady your rapidly rising heart rate as it pumped aggressively against your ribs. 

“…Let’s go and get this over with.”

\---

That morning, Kylo sat in his cell, eyes bloodshot from spilling tear after tear from until they grew dry and achingly sore. Not a second of his night was spent resting, he couldn’t. The whole evening had been spent sobbing into his palms after you and (Y/S/N) had been dragged away from him. Visiting hours were always timed, but once Kylo had seen you and your son in front of him, it was as if that reality no longer affected your presence. His body was still trembling from the sobs, his emotional range entirely spent from the mere 7 hours alone and his sanity in shambles. Had he not seen you and (Y/S/N), he might have actually welcomed this sentence, feeling as though he finally deserved to pay the price for what he had done. The second he laid his eyes on his son running towards him, all of that went out the door. There was nothing in the galaxy he wanted more than to just be with his family, and he would try anything to postpone death, at least for a while, until it felt right. This sudden of a sentence, to not only have freedom but life itself ripped away from him, was like experiencing whiplash. He had had freedom just before him, laying at the foot of that shuttle ramp, only to be entirely destroyed a mere 30 seconds into it. It was then that he suddenly realized the future he had planned with you and his son, was in fact coming to a close, or at least his part in it. Hearing his cell door swing open, Kylo looked up, expressionless, to the two guards awaiting him.

“Time to go Ren.”

Releasing a breath through his nostrils, he nodded as he slowly stood to his feet. Feeling as though his knees were going to buckle beneath him, Kylo had not realized how weak his sorrow from the evening before had made him. Bringing his hands before him, the guards wasted no time as they quickly brought his arms behind him, snapping the restraints shut. Hearing the click, the one guard to his left shoved Kylo forward, shoving a blaster into his broad shoulders.

“Move it.” 

Not bothering to fight back, Kylo simply swallowed back his anger as he began taking his steps down the hall, each thud of his boots mimicking the sound of his deeply beating heart. This sentence was worse than dying out in the field, at least in battle he had glory, he was caught unaware. In this fashion however, he anticipated every passing second, knowing what was coming with no idea of how or where. With his head hanging down, a guard close to each of his sides, Kylo started to become overwhelmed with nostalgic memories, one in particular, pushed its way forward.

\---

“Kylo..”

Bloodshot eyes looked up to you from the floor, pained, unsure, the dark circles under them only making it appear worse. He was absolutely wrecked, both emotionally and physically. 

“I-…I have something to tell you…but I wanted to know if this was the right time.”

Kylo sniffled, just barely peering at the damage he had just caused from the corner of his eye. In a sudden fit of rage, unable to cope with the unsettling and growing reality of what he had done to his father, he snapped. Slashing his saber through anything and everything, he nearly destroyed the entirety of your make shift living quarters. The walls were still steaming from the strikes he had made, the metal slowly fading back to its natural black color. After what felt like a good 10 minutes of him screaming in rage, occasionally grunting as he dug his saber through whatever was in his way, he finally came to a halt when the shot wound in his side began to sting. Gripping his side in pain he fell to his knees, eyes wincing shut as the sudden onslaught of tears started flowing from his eyes. 20 minutes after that he had finally calmed down, able to at least look you in the eyes. 

“…Might as well be.”

Gulping you started fiddling with the fabric of your robes, unsure of what he was going to do next. For all you knew, he would kick you out, ask you to never return for your own good, or worse. Releasing a deep breath you tried to steady your hands, gripping onto the fabric with a little force. 

“I…I um…I’m pregnant.”

The room fell eeriely silent, his gaze looking to the wall off to your side. Already you could feel your present nausea getting worse with his lack of words. 

“…How?”

Trying to stifle the nervous chuckle you almost made you cleared your throat.

“Well…you were there…I would hope you know how.”

He shook his head, his voice growing more hoarse.

“How…how for a…horrendous being like me…is that even possible?”

With your hands starting to tremble you simply shrugged.

“It just is…I-I don’t know.”

As tears started flowing from his eyes again you started second guessing yourself as he took fistfuls of your night gown into his large hands and dipped his head into your knee. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Do…do you want me to leave?”

Looking back up to you, tears still freely flowing, Kylo shook his head.

“No, no please don’t go. …You’re all I have left (Y/N)…please I can’t lose you too. Please…I…I just don’t…I don’t know how to feel.”

As the sobs grew harsher, shaking his back you cautiously reached down and started stroking his back soothingly. 

“I won’t leave…and I…I understand. I don’t know how to feel either.”

Sitting on his knees he brought himself closer to you, resting the side of his head on your lower thigh as his tears started to dampen the fabric beneath them. Swallowing nervously, you moved your hand to pet his hair instead.

“I guess…you could think of it as…as an exchange.”

Sniffling he choked out his next words, “What?”

“…It’s…it’s an exchange…we lost one life to gain another.”

Looking up to you, as your heart started to uncontrollably beat in your chest, unsure of your word choice, Kylo bloodshot eyes gazed into yours. He brought his eyes to your stomach then back to you. 

“…An exchange…”

“Kylo I’m- I’m sorry if-”

“No…you’re right…the force exchanged us one life for another.”

Sighing with the slightest relief you nodded as he placed his head back onto your thighs to rest, a single tear slipping down his cheek.

\---

Unable to hold it back, a single tear rolled down his cheek. Of all the memories, that one spoke the most volumes at this moment in time. Maybe this was meant to happen, just like you had said before. An exchange. Maybe the galaxy was no longer in need of him, but in his place the twins would rise. The tears became less controlled as that thought settled into his heart. With your heart beating ferociously against your chest you tried to steady your breathing, feeling your nerves starting to overwhelm you physically. 

“Leia…Leia I don’t know if I can do this.”

Gently Leia took her trembling hand and entertwined it with hers. Turning your gaze towards her, you could see her fighting back her own tears.

“You have to be strong (Y/N)…I don’t want to do this either..but please for him.”

As your bottom lip quivered, you tried to steady your voice.

“I-I don’t want him to go…not like this.”

Leia sighed as she nodded in agreement, “Neither do I.”

Just as you felt your tears pushing forward, you felt a shift in the air. Snapping your head in the direction of the giant circular platform in front of you, your eyes went wide, darting in every direction.

“They’re bringing him in.”

Leia following your gaze looked to the same platform. As two men moved into the light, your heart sunk as you saw Kylo’s head of hair dipped down, his shoulders hunched, while his hands were bound behind him. The air around the platform grew deathly silent, and thick. Breathing in for you suddenly became more difficult as you kept your eyes on Kylo. With a shove to the shoulder, Kylo fell to his knees on the platform, releasing a light groan. As he settled more comfortably in his position, you saw a man emerge from the shadows, hooded by a Jedi cloak. Looking between him and Kylo you felt your heart practically sink to a puddle in your gut.

“No…no, no they can’t do that.”

Struggling with the tightness growing in your chest, you suddenly saw Kylo’s head look up towards you. His solemn gaze met yours, and in an instant you felt everything at once. The overwhelmingly deep depression he was in knowing what he was leaving behind, the subtle but pained happiness that he saw you and his mother before him, and the heavy weight of nostalgia flashing before his eyes.   
Keeping his eyes locked on yours, he focused his available energy in communicating with you. Flashing into your mind, he brought forth a memory.

\---

Kylo was hovering above you, his panting breath dying down slowly as his lustful eyes grew softer. Returning the same gaze, you watched him intently, floating down from your blissful state.

“I love you.”

You hesitated from smiling, joyful, but hesitant to his words. 

“W-what?”

“I…I love you. …I love you.”

Smiling faintly you ran your hand carefully over his ear as you tucked his hair behind it.

“I love you too.”

\---

Practically choking from the sound of your cries that you tried to hold back, the memory faded, bringing your focus back to Kylo in front of you. With your quivering lip you released a wavering breath. 

“I love you.”

Dipping his head the slightest, just so you would see he echoed back.

“I love you too. Tell (Y/S/N) I love him.”

Nodding to him, you tried shutting your mouth again to silence the whimpers you knew were coming. Just as your lips came together, the hooded man strode before Kylo, blocking your view partially. As you leaned to the side to get a better glance you instantly regretted it. Using the very blade confiscated from Kylo, the man instantly ignited it, the crackling buzz echoing into the vast space. Within the blink of an eye, the man drove the blade through a part of Kylo’s abdomen, with an audible gasp escaping Kylo’s lips. 

They had made him face the same demise he had brought upon Han.

Feeling everything inside you take a crushing blow, you clutched your hand onto your gown, bracing your fist against your heart. From the way it stopped so suddenly in the moment, you weren’t sure if it was still beating. All you knew was the galaxy had halted in that moment, and only the horror in front of you existed. Your knees started to shake as you felt yourself slowly falling onto the floor, unable to look away.   
Just as you saw him fall to his side, you watched as the same hooded man signaled for the droid carrying a gurney to roll Kylo onto it. The sight in front of you started to blur entirely as the tears started uncontrollably flowing forward, your sobs at this point were inaudible as your lips fell open. As you crumpled further onto the floor the crowd around you finally started to disappear. You had held it together long enough to go unnoticed. Finally releasing a choked gasp between tears, you winced your eyes shut, not wanting to know where this cloaked man was going to take Kylo. The sight you had regrettably witnessed before you was enough to make you feel as though the galaxy around had just collapsed on itself. Time had ceased entirely and in that moment, it felt like it wouldn’t carry on. As a heavier gasp escaped your lips, sobbing even harder, you felt Leia’s hands on your shoulder, her waves of melancholy hitting you just as hard.

“I-I’m here honey…I’m here.”

Leaning your head into her, you continued releasing tears as you tried to make a coherent statement.

“W-why? Wh-hy?”

Craddling your head in her lap, you could feel one of her tears hit the flesh of your cheek. Everything seemed to start blurring, unable to hear any sounds around you, just the sound of your pulse beating against your eardrums. 

\---

After about an hour of releasing all the tears your body could spare, you finally returned to the Falcon to return home. Luckily for you (Y/S/N) was asleep for the majority of the ride, including when you returned, leaving to sit in the numbing but far more tolerable silence. Returning to the Resistance, Leia wasted no time taking you to her own personal living quarters on the base, (Y/S/N) still passed out in your arms. The entire half hour you spent getting settled were spent in absolute and utter silence. Nobody having the heart to say anything, nothing that would make anything about this easier. With (Y/S/N) tucked into the bed, only momentarily waking as you packed away your things, you heard a faint knock on the door. Turning to look over your shoulder, you saw Leia, her eyes still solemn and her energy deeply entrenched in sorrow.

“I’m going to go for a walk…I just wanted to say, feel free to help yourself to anything in the house before you turn in.”

You nodded, “Thank you.”

Closing the door behind her she left you to your room. Sighing as you looked out the window, trying your hardest to not start crying again, you shook your head. Slipping off your overcoat you carefully slipped into the bed, opposite to the side (Y/S/N) was tucked into. As you settled yourself in, you heard the soft murmur of (Y/S/N).

“Mommy.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I hug you?”

Smiling faintly at him you nodded, scooting closer to him.

“Of course you can.”

Feeling his small arms wrap around you, you felt your heart swell as his raven locks dusted against the exposed skin of your neck. 

“Better?”

“…It’s for you…daddy told me to take care of you when you felt bad.”

At that you felt your bottom lip start to quiver again, having to release a deep breath from above his head of fluffy hair trying to hold yourself together. Stroking his back in a soothing motion you kissed the top of his head.

“Thank you…I needed it.”

“I know.”

Faintly smiling to yourself as a tear slipped down your cheek, you continued to hold him close, slowly drifting off to sleep.

\---

Late into the night, you found yourself slowly waking again. You couldn’t bring yourself to fully fall asleep, not with the images you had seen that day. No matter how far into the back of your mind you tried to push them, they always managed to flash in sudden instances, only resurging your tears. When Kylo had said you needed to carry on without him, you imagined it would be much easier for someone such as yourself. You were strong in so many ways, yet Kylo managed to somehow be your kryptonite along with (Y/S/N). Releasing a wavering sigh as you wiped a few stray tears from your cheeks, you suddenly heard a crashing thud. Freezing in place, you felt your body lock stiff at the sound. From what you knew, Leia had already turned in for the evening. R2 and 3PO were away in their own chambers, and Chewie did not in fact live in these quarters. Feeling your heart rate start to rise you tried to shallow your breathing, honing all of your focus in on the sounds coming from behind the door. There were only faint footfalls, seeming to stay in one place, as if the presence were pacing. Until suddenly the sounds ceased. A long, drawn out second passed as the air fell entirely silent again. Releasing a shallow breath, you tried to keep your focus sharp. Just as you were about to take another breath in you heard the faintest of footsteps coming in your direction. Naturally feeling protective, you carefully wrapped an arm around (Y/S/N), attempting not to wake him, but shield him from what could possibly come through that door. Leia surely meant you no harm or ill will, but had anyone caught even the slightest whisper of your presence on the base, they could do anything they deemed appropriate. Hearing the footfalls stop just before your door, you felt your heart rate rising even higher, the quickening pulse turning your flesh hot. Just as the footfalls ceased you watched as the knob of the door slowly started to turn, the person behind it obviously trying to be as quiet as possible. With your eyes locked onto the slow motion of metal you started to prepare for all the possibilties of what was going to happen. Having been through the day you had, you were not about to let anything else harm you or your family. As the door suddenly creaked open, revealing a silhouette in the doorframe, you felt your breath hitch in your throat as you clutched onto (Y/S/N) tighter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Distraught and emotionally spent, (Y/N) tries to get comfortable and catch up on some much needed rest in Leia’s quarters, only to be awoken by strange noises. Waking to a strange silhouette in her doorframe, the evening only gets stranger for her.

As your heart hammered against your chest, still not able to identify the strange silhouette, you moved to cover more of (Y/S/N) still asleep next to you.

“W-who are you? What do you want?”

Walking forward into the better set lighting of the room given by the moon, finally revealing his features. His greying facial hair, looking just slightly scruffed, deep dark circles under his deep set blue eyes and grey shoulder length hair. Something about his eyes felt familiar, yet you weren’t sure what.

“I’m not coming here with any intention of harm.”

Gritting your teeth, as you tried to shield (Y/S/N), you answered coldly.

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Giving you a short nod, he took a step closer. One thing you couldn’t deny about his presence was the amount of force power he held within him. Whoever he was, he held a great capability within him.

“Fair enough. I don’t believe we’ve been introduced before.”

Finally at the foot of the bed, placing a hand over his abdomen as he just barely bent forward, it was as if he was bowing to you. At least he was polite.

“I’m Luke, Luke Skywalker.”

Pausing from leaning any further over (Y/S/N), you felt your mouth just barely open in surprise. Of course being in the First Order with Kylo, one of the only things you heard about consistently was the map to Skywalker. One of the only things he ever told you about his past as well was his former training under his uncle, insisting that it was one of the loneliest times in his life. 

“I believe I was away the last time you were on this base.”

You sneered slightly, remembering all the things you had heard about this man. Truthfully, you didn’t know if he was truly a man to resent, but you weren’t going to be so naive. 

“Apparently.”

“To my knowledge, you’re my nephews wife?”

Feeling your heart sink you nodded, trying to channel more of your protective nature than your depression. The mere mention of him was becoming an unexpected burden on your heart. You prided yourself on your strength both physically and emotionally, yet it seemed Kylo’s death severly damaged both of those things. 

“I am…widowed now.”

His expression fell slightly, as he lightly bowed his head. Standing straight again, you realized that that motion alone was supposed to suffice for his condolensces. Something about his reaction seemed off to you, as if he wasn’t truly sorrowful that his nephew had been killed or that he left you, your son, unborn twins and Leia behind. Refocusing on that anger, you made your statement as flat as you could. 

“Why are you in these quarters?”

“I was requested to come and check on you by Leia. She wanted to know if you’d like to come and join her? You must be quite the guest to be invited to her special hideaway.”

Skeptical as he finished with his words, you couldn’t help but feel as though he were luring you. You knew Leia had sympathy for you, but the rest of the Resistance as a whole seemed like one big gamble in terms of their feelings towards you and your son. For all you knew, Luke was looking to take out the last of the dark force users and could sense your hostility. 

“Special hideaway? That sounds an awful lot like a trap.”

Slowly he shook his head.

“I assure you it’s not. Leia would do more than kill me if anything happened to you, or your son.”

Grinning at the thought you sat up a little straighter. One thing you could see in Leia from the moment you met her was that she was a strong woman, she was a pillar of strength. If you could have anyone as your support system in the time after Kylo’s execution, you felt fortunate that it was her. As a voice of reason and nurturing individual she was exactly what you needed.

“(Y/N), I understand your hesitation to be here, but I assure you we can coexist even if we don’t see eye-to-eye on galaxy politics. Surely knowing the relations you had with my nephew are enough reason to put the politics aside.”

Smiling faintly at him you released a short sigh, looking to (Y/S/N) in the bed next to you. At least this was an offer that didn’t feel threatening, and involved the only person you trusted at the Resistance. Gently brushing a stray hair from his face, you looked back to Luke.

“Should I bring this one?”

“If it would make you feel safer to have him with you then yes I would suggest it.”

Nodding you turned your attention back to (Y/S/N), lightly shaking his arm. 

“Hey, (Y/S/N). Wake up…come on.”

Hearing the softest little groan come from the head of fluffy hair, you waited as he turned to look at you with his brows knitted together. 

“Hey come on, let’s get up.”

His eyes wandered the room, turning back to you with those same knitted brows and confusion. 

“But mommy…it’s still dark.”

“I know. Grandma wants us to meet her at her special hideaway.”

Arching a brow, you could feel the skepticism from him match yours. The more his personality developed the more you saw traces of you and Kylo within him. He was highly inquisitve and curious, as well as full of energy and strength, much like you but could flip his emotions in an instant and often make snarky remarks, much like Kylo. Considering the offer he looked over to Luke, then back to you.

“That’s not grandma.”

“No honey, that’s your great uncle.”

He looked at Luke again, “Why is he great?”

Chuckling to yourself you shook your head. Of course he didn’t understand family titles yet, considering how isolated you all were from any family. 

“That’s not what that means. Come on, let’s go see grandma.”

“But I’m so tired.”

Gently sliding your arms underneath him as you pulled him towards you from under the covers you nodded.

“I know, but this won’t take long.”

Groaning he threw his head back as you brought him to your side. Instantly he rested his head into your chest, trying to fall asleep once again as you slipped a jacket over him. Grinning with his hands clasped in front of him Luke stood patiently waiting.

“You know, he looks just like Ben did.”

Your heart sunk again, plunging into the depths you were trying so desperately to keep it afloat in. Gulping you simply avoided eye contact with Luke, though you knew his force sensitivity would give away your emotions in a second.

“Oh I…I apologize.”

Faking a smile you shrugged.

“It’s fine…everyone says that.”

Giving you another short nod, he politely gestured with his hand to the door.

“Shall we?”

Nodding you followed beside him as you walked out of Leia’s personal quarters, walking towards the thick brush of trees. Though you internally wanted to scream that everything about this was a red flag, something about it also felt oddly comforting. It was as if these woods were expecting you, the energy entirely calm and welcoming, like someone holding their arms open for you. Deciding this comforting feeling was enough to warrant your presence, you continued walking forward.

\---

Striding down the small winding trail, not well defined by all the grass and moss over it, you stood beside Luke with (Y/S/N) passed out in your arms. The forest was so incredibly quiet that is seemed surreal. Only the soft chirps of creatures off in the distance could be heard. After a few moments of silence Luke spoke.

“You know, despite the circumstances, Leia truly is more than elated to have you and her grandchild here.”

Though you weren’t in the mood for talking, you were relieved he was at least keeping it light. He likely knew better than to open the fresh wounds that you had over Kylo’s death, no matter how much it needed to be discussed. Clearing your throat you nodded.

“I could tell…she was conflicted at first, she didn’t want to be happy that we were here, because of the situation.”

He nodded.

“But I’m glad (Y/S/N) has his grandmother now, my parents passed a while back.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

You shrugged, sighing. 

“It’s in the past…it’s fine.”

Falling silent again you found your mind wandering, contemplating that last statement you had made. Almost everyone who had lost parents were devastated, unable to cope a majority of the time, yet you were able to accept the passing of your parents with stride within weeks. Would you do the same with Kylo? You had only lost so many people, considering how few of people you let into your life. Everything inside you wanted to fight the urge to forget and move on. It felt wrong to move on with such ease, even if Kylo would have encouraged it himself. He deserved to be remembered, to have someone in strife over his loss, to assure that somewhere out in the galaxy his absence was felt. Feeling tears about to push forward again you took a breath out as you heard Luke clear his throat next to you. 

“Yes, and from what she told me you also are expecting?”

Clearing your throat as well, assuring your tears would halt, you nodded to him.

“Yes…twins.”

“Oh! So what they say about skipping generations is true?”

You nodded with a faint smile.

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“Will you be planning on staying here until they arrive?”

You shrugged with a soft sigh, as if a sigh of your defeat over the matter.

“I suppose. I don’t have many other options. Leia’s definitely the best I have in comparisson to the rest of the galaxy.”

Luke nodded with a grin. 

“She’ll be a great help to you, not just because of experience. She’ll be ecstatic when they’re born, she’s always wanted a house full of grandchildren. Whether Ben wanted them or not.”

Feeling your smile fade you tried turning your face from Luke momentarily. You knew he didn’t mean to get that reaction out of you, but you couldn’t help it. You had seen Leia’s thoughts, how seeing you with Kylo gave her hope that she’d get to have her son back as well as her grandchild. She would finally no longer be just an outsider to his life, and would finally be able to participate. Though she got a part of her wish, her son was no longer a part of it. The most vital component to all those wishes she had was so blatantly missing. You weren’t sure how life in the Resistance was going to be as the days went on, but all you hoped for was peace for you and (Y/S/N), as well as the twins. To say the least you would at least be thankful for Leia’s assistance when they came along. Remembering when (Y/S/N) was born, you couldn’t help but stress just a little knowing there would now be two. On the optimistic side however, you had Leia, who had experienced labor before, unlike the medical droids that had been helping you at the First Order. Walking into a sort of meadow, you felt the overwhelmingly calm air surrounding you, much like a warm blanket being gently set upon your shoulders. This was likely why Leia came out here, to cool down from the ever growing tension and heat from running the Resistance. Luke wasn’t kidding when he called it a hideaway, it was well hidden behind the thick expanse of the forest, seemed almost entirely untouched, and looked as though it was often overlooked by passers by. Creeping over the soft blanket of moss that laid beneath your feet, you both swiveled around a few logs until you came upon a small pond, glistening under the moonlight. Feeling your mouth fall just slightly agape at the sight, you let your eyes wander the entire expanse of it. Though everywhere your eyes landed, Leia was nowhere to be found.Anxiety was slowly creeping up on you again as you realized just how deep into these woods you truly were. If anything were to happen suddenly, you would likely have a difficult time running, possibly even get lost considering how many times you had to swerve around things blocking the pathway. Trying to step away from Luke, still holding (Y/S/N) close, your eyes started darting around the area, planning an escape route. Though everything you came up with sounded sloppy to you, you had no time to get formal with an escape.

“Here we are.”

“Umm…out of curiosity where is Leia?”

Looking over to the pond, Luke’s brows raised.

“Oh, she was there when I left.”

Swallowing the lump that was growing in your throat you continued to move away from Luke, feeling your palms grow damp with nervous sweat. 

“This was a trap…you wanted me out here.”

Luke started shaking his head as he held up his hands.

“No, no, (Y/N) I assure you it is NOT a trap.”

“Then why are we out here alone?”

“Leia must have stepped away for a moment, I can go find her, just breathe.”

“You’re going to-”

Suddenly something in your mind clicked as you looked him over. That cloak. You had seen that same exact cloak before. Trying to register where exactly in your mind you searched through your memories only to feel your heart stop.

“You.”

Luke looked at you with an arched brow.

“You did it.”

“What?”

“You…you killed him…you were the one there in the cloak.”

Feeling the tears surge forward, you felt yourself coming unhinged as you could no longer hold back your emotions. You had been put through the ringer emotionally, and were reaching the brink of what you could possibly handle. To think that the man standing before you, now with you in the middle of an abandoned meadow behind the Resistance, had killed the love of your life, his own nephew. Already playing out the worst possible scenario that you could imagine happening next you raised your voice with a clenched jaw.

“You killed him!”

“(Y/N)!”

You heard Leia approaching to your left, concern evident in her voice.

“What’s going on?”

Feeling your entire body shake you pointed to Luke as a light gasp from your cries escaped.

“He did it…he killed him.”

Leia looked between you and Luke, obviously confused. Seeing her hesitant expression you turned to her with knitted brows.

“D-did you know this? Did you know?”

She shook her head as she carefully gripped onto your shoulders, trying to steady you.

“No…no dear I didn’t know.”

“How can I trust you?”

Feeling her heart plummet as she looked at you, you felt your heart start to pound between your ears. 

“(Y/N)…please…you’ve been through enough, I would never dare put you through that knowingly.”

Turning to Luke with a look of disappointment she shook her head, deciding to leave him with her cold shoulder for the time being. 

“To put myself through that even…”

Hearing you choke out a soft sob she gently put a hand to your trembling back as she guided you over to a small log in front of the pond. 

“Come here, come here, sit down. You’ve been through enough stress, it’s not good for you or the babies. Your body needs to relax (Y/N), please.”

“The cloak, that’s the cloak…he killed him.”

“Ssshhh, sit. Please, please just let yourself breathe.”

Gently she guided your trembling figure over to one of the logs in front of the pond. Running her hands over them in a soothing motion she tried to calm you down as your cries kept growing, almost awaking (Y/S/N).

“Ssshhh, it’s alright. I’ll go get you a blanket. Luke…I have nothing left to say to you if what she’s telling me is true. …There is no politics worth the life of my son, and the emotional tortue of my daughter-in-law and grandchild.”

“Leia I-”

“Luke…please…”

Hearing nothing behind you, but feeling the tension of the silence you waited to hear some kind of shuffling behind you. Finally hearing the faintest sound of footfalls, you assumed Luke to be finally leaving. The fact alone that he had been the man behind Kylo’s death sent chilling shivers down your spine. How could he care so little for his own nephew? Despite what Kylo had done, he did not necessarily deserve to be so carelessly thrown aside. Not to mention so carelessly disregarding his sisters love for her own child. How could someone who was such a strong figure of good and justice, in this moment, so corrupt and cruel to his own family? 

“Stay there dear I’ll be back in just a minute.”

As the silence fell over the meadow, you found yourself sobbing once again. Although you wanted to put up a facade in front of your son, you couldn’t hold it in any longer. It was growing to be unhealthy with how much you held back from simply releasing everything you pent up. In a place this isolated, you finally felt free to let it all go. Moments later, wiping tears from your eyes as you finally steadied out your breathing. Your eyes went to the body of water in front of you, still glistening beautifully under the moonlight. With a sudden gust behind you, you felt the welcoming warmth of some fabric finding its way over your shoulders. Relishing in the warmth you curled yourself into it, assuring (Y/S/N) was covering himself with some as you sniffled.

“Thank you.”

There was silence, as if suddenly Leia was too emotional to speak. She finally reached a breaking point where she could no longer handle the reality of what had happened. You couldn’t blame her, from seeing the death of her own child to discovering her own brother was behind it, her heart likely couldn’t take anymore. Words alone could shatter her in this fragile state. Keeping your eyes forward, you decided to not make eye contact with her, not wanting to warrant another unhinged floodgate of tears. Sighing as you took in the view in front of you, you suddenly heard soft rustles of grass from behind you as a soft gush of hot breath hit your ear.

“Anything for you.”

You knew that voice. There was no mistaking it with anyone else. Was there? 

Turning to look over your shoulder you were suddenly interrupted by the immediate crashing of lips into yours, earning a sudden jump from your heart as they collided. As your lips glided against the ones that had appeared out of nowhere, you suddenly recognized the flavor, the plush feeling, the motions brushing against yours. Pulling away you looked in front of you, only to gasp in shock. Feeling as though your heart was going to leap out of your chest, you started crying again.

“Kylo..”

With tears welling in his deep brown eyes he nodded back, his plump lips parting as he released a deep breath.

“How ar-…how is this possible? …Please…please tell me I’m not dreaming. Stars if I’m dreaming I’m going to fall apart.”

Shaking his head he made his way in front of you, kneeling to the grassy floor before the pond. Gently he took your hand in his, the feeling alone sending the butterflies in your gut skyrocketing. Surely in a dream his hands wouldn’t feel this warm, nor would you feel the calloused skin brushing against the smooth plains of your palm. 

“No, no (Y/N) this is real. This is happening. I’m really here.”

“H-how?”

Placing a kiss to your hand for a moment he looked back up to you.

“My uncle.”

Raising your brows you shook your head.

“Bu-but how? …How did you survive that?”

“He took the place of executionor…the wound didn’t hit any of my vital organs, so when they took me away I had a chance of surviving. When I was on that guerney, I wasn’t entirely dead. But I’m here now, I’m here. I’m here.”

“How did he heal that Kylo? Is that even possible? I saw it go through you.”

Almost hurling at the thought, you placed a hand over your throat, shaking the visual from your mind as you brought your focus to Kylo’s eyes, still welling with tears of both joy and sorrow.

“With as much power in the force as he has it is. Force healing. It is possible (Y/N), this is happening. This is really happening.”

Leaning forward as you dug your free hand into his hair, tugging him closer you exchanged a deep and passionate kiss, getting lost in the bliss you thought you would never feel again. Just as his hands travel to your cheeks, softly caressing them, you felt the stirring at your side, finally awaking from all of your shuffling.

“D-daddy?”

Smiling, his bottom lip quivering, as he pulled away from you Kylo looked to (Y/S/N) peering out from under the fabric.

“Hi buddy.”

“Daddy!!”

Bursting into tears the small toddler unlatched himself from your side and collapsed into Kylo’s lap as he wrapped his arms protectively around him. The sheer amount of joy emitting from (Y/S/N) brought your heart to ease, watching him sob into Kylo’s shoulder. Bringing his face before him, Kylo carefully wiped the tears off of (Y/S/N)’s cheeks.

“Don’t cry…it’s alright I’m here. I’m here.”

Practically choking on the last words, Kylo clutched onto (Y/S/N) with an even tighter grip, almost afraid he would somehow slip away. 

“But you left. You said you had to leave.”

“Plans changed, I don’t have to go away anymore. I get to stay with you and mom, for good. Is that ok with you?”

Still crying (Y/S/N) nodded his head eagerly as he leaned into Kylo’s shoulder once again. Smiling as the tears continued streaming down your cheeks you couldn’t help but feel entirely overwhelmed with joy at the sight you saw in front of you. Your family was reunited, you were all embracing each other and relishing in each others presence. Stroking (Y/S/N)’s hair as it rested on his shoulder, Kylo seated himself on the log next to you, his large limbs looking comical trying to properly sit so low to the ground.

“I have a ship ready.”

“What?”

“I have a ship ready for us. Luke’s staying behind with the Resistance, and we’re taking the ship. We’re going to get out of this system, as far as we can.”

With the jubilance slowly rising in your heart, you gently placed your hand over his. You had fantasized about a scenario like this time and time again in your years with Kylo, especially after the night of Starkiller’s destruction. War and politics were not worth sacrificing your entire being for, and you wanted nothing more than to simply be. To see Kylo free of the shackles either side would place on him, whether literally or metaphorically. 

“Are you…are you sure?”

He nodded eagerly, “Yes. Yes. We get to start our own lives, just like you always wanted. Like I’ve wanted. We finally get to be free.”

“Kylo…we…we really get to do this? …We’re running away?”

He nodded, almost unable to handle the elation he felt saying it.

“Yes, yes (Y/N). We’re going to have our own home, away from all the politics, the war…all of it. No more…and we’re just going to exist. Ok? No more First Order or Resistance, just us, just us and our family.” 

Unable to contain your own joy you grinned from ear to ear, the feeling of your heart finally beating soundly bringing you even more comfort.

“Stars…and I thought that would only happen in our dreams.”

Nodding with a sniffle, Kylo leaned in and gave you another kiss, his lips unable to stay off of yours. As he pulled away he rested his forehead to yours.

“It isn’t a dream…it’s better.”

Smiling with a soft chuckle you leaned forward and gave him another deep kiss. The feeling alone was sending ripples of joy through you, with the last two days you had lived through, there was nothing more comforting than having those same lips meld perfectly against yours. The ones you thought you would never feel again, finally returning where they belonged. 

He was real. He was here. Alive. Breathing.

Turning to look over your shoulder however, your heart momentarily dropped again. Leia was standing there, watching the three of you, both elated and mornful. Despite her son still being alive, his plans to leave would make her yet again an outsider. After finally getting a taste of having her son back along with his wife and child, she was getting it ripped away from her once again. Kylo’s plans to settle into a home would likely be nowhere remotely close to wherever Leia was. 

“I can’t begin to express, to even tell you, how happy I am for you both.”

You gave her a warm smile, feeling her conflicted and aching heart.

“I wish we could take you with us too, but you do have a Resistance to run.”

She shrugged, “Yeah, just a little side job.”

Chuckling faintly you nodded. You truly would want Leia to come along, to finally have some closure with the war, to finally have the family she so desperately missed, to live out her dreams of seeing her son as a grown man live his own life. Running the Resistance however, was not an easy job to simply leave behind. Clearing his throat Kylo turned to face her, bringing himself to his feet as he towered over her in front of him.

“Mom…”

Those words alone practically made your heart stop, to realize that Kylo had just spoken them aloud. He had not regarded her as his mother since the age of 17, over a decade of life that he did not acknowledge by her rightful title. Finally being free of Snoke however, he was finally able to acknowledge the undeniable love he had for his mother without regarding it as a hindrance to himself. 

“We may be far…but you’ll always be welcome. Maybe even Chewie.”

Solemnly she smiled at Kylo, nodding faintly.

“I understand why…I would do the same if I were you.”

Offering her a rare but genuine smile, Kylo’s lips curled just slightly at her words.

“You will call me over the holo right?”

He nodded, “Of course.”

Pointing her index finger up towards his face she narrowed her eyes.

“You better call me when those twins are coming…I want to be there.”

“Yes, of course we will.”

Smiling Leia sighed, Kylo suddenly spoke again after a moment.

“You could um…you could come stay with us…after they arrive. For a few days?”

Grinning at Leia as you heard his soft preposition you couldn’t deny the waves of elated joy she was feeling the more he spoke. Though she was still upset to acknowledge that her son would be nowhere near her, she was far happier hearing his plans and that she would be involved in them at all. 

“So you can get some sleep?”

He nodded eagerly, earning a soft giggle from you and a warm smile from Leia.

“Of course…I would love nothing more.”

Looking down to her shoes, Leia released a wavering breath, obviously trying to hold together her own emotions. As her eyes met Kylo’s again, you could see, as well as feel, her mended but aching heart. 

“You better be going. The sun will be rising anytime now, I don’t want my staff to see your shuttle leaving the airspace.”

Turning back to you and (Y/S/N), Kylo waited to see your expression. With a single nod, you carefully took (Y/S/N) into your arms again. Standing with a light sigh escaping your lips you looked to Kylo.

“Ready whenever you are.”

He gave you a faint grin before turning back to Leia, his expression instantly falling as he saw his mothers resurging tears.

“Please don’t.”

She shook her head, “They’re not tears of sadness dear. I’m…I’m just so happy for you.”

Feeling the faint wave of sorrow go between them, you watched them closely. Your own heart only ached as you watched Kylo lean down from his towering height only to wrap his mother in his arms. Carefully nestling his face into her shoulder he stayed there for a few moments, only the soft sound of sniffling and shaky breaths filling the air. Finally pulling away Leia looked Kylo over once more, patting him on the shoulder.

“I love you…always…remember that.”

He nodded shortly, sniffling once again.

“I will.”

Peering past Kylo’s side, Leia smiled at you, with a small gesture of her hand.

“Get over here.”

With a smile you strode over to Leia, not even hesitating to take her into your arms. Feeling her hot breath dust over your shoulder, you held her close, just slightly rocking from side to side. 

“Thank you…thank you for everything you’ve done.”

Pulling away you shook your head at her with furrowed brows.

“Everything I’ve done?”

“For him…for me as his mother. You’re more than worthy of some recognition.”

Smiling at her sentiment as you felt the expanse of your chest grow warm you shook your head.

“It should be me thanking you…but I do greatly appreciate your words.”

Looking over to (Y/S/N) she smiled.

“And you, I’m going to miss you.”

(Y/S/N) turned his gaze towards Leia, hesitating for a moment as you watched him observe her. Tilting his head just slightly, almost exactly as Kylo often did, he softly spoke.

“I guess I’ll miss you too grandma.”

All laughing at his sentiment you rustled his hair. Turning back to look at Kylo as his expression turned serious once again, he gestured with a hand towards another small trail.

“Ready?”

Nodding you slowly walked up to him, intertwining your hand with his, causing your heart to swell. The feeling alone felt as though the damage you thought would tear you apart for years had suddenly evaporated. You were truly free of the pain of the First Order, of trials and the war. Finally, you would know what it felt like to simply live rather than survive. Just as you were about to walk down the trail, you saw Luke reappear out of the corner of your eye, a smile across his face as he took his place by Leia’s side. Turning to face him Kylo gave him a single nod.

“Thank you…for everything.”

He bowed his head, still smiling with joy at the sight of his now grown nephew with his family.

“It was my honor.”

Smiling at him you gently bowed your head, a silent apology of sorts for your earlier reactions, earning you a nod in return. He had revived you in a way you did not think was possible, and couldn’t possibly be thanked enough for the return of your husband. Sighing you turned back to Kylo, giving his large hand a small squeeze as you started taking your steps forward.

Watching you disappear down the trail, Leia’s eyes started welling with tears once again as her brother brought a comforting hand to her shoulder.

“So there is in fact a such thing as happy endings?”

Looking to Luke with a solemn smile, she gently placed her hand over his.

“…There is…there surely is.”


End file.
